A few days ago, my friend Hallie emailed around an article from the New York Times called “How to fall in love with anyone”. Um obviously that sounded pretty exciting.
She summed up the article perfectly on her blog: “It explores the idea of mutual vulnerability and how that fosters feelings of closeness. Or more specifically, whether intimacy between a set of strangers can be created and accelerated by having them ask each other a series of personal questions — 36 of them, to be exact.”
I’ve obviously already fallen in love but the idea of going through this process with my husband intrigued me. Update: On Friday night, Anel and I did this exercise and it was incredibly powerful. I thought I knew everything about my husband but turns out, I don’t. It was also a beautiful moment to look at each other and say what we love about each other. When your handsome husband calls you smart, beautiful, and driven, it’s hard not to feel like a million bucks.
Hallie challenged us bloggers to answer these questions on the internet for anyone to read. Does that scare me? Yup. Make me feel vulnerable? Check. But will I do it? Yes. I left out the ones that felt like they got a little too personal but here goes nothing . . .
Would you like to be famous? In what way?
Not paparazzi famous but obviously I’d love to be well-known for my blog and the work I’m doing for Nourish. My dream was to make a 30 under 30 list but as I’m turning 30 in 6 months, pretty sure that’s not going to happen. Let’s shoot for 40 under 40, shall we?
What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
I would be on the beach with my husband and sister, the weather is a perfectly sunny 80 degree day. We start the morning with beach yoga followed by a healthy and delicious breakfast (green juice please!). We’ll spend the day lazily reading and swimming. Lunch is fish tacos and margaritas followed by some paddle boarding to work it off. After sunning ourselves some more, we’d get massages and then sip cocktails watching the sunset. We’d end the night with a magical dinner outdoors surrounded by sparkle lights, music, and good food.
More realistically, it’s taking a personal day.
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
I sing to myself every night in the shower. I like to pretend I’m on The Voice and Adam turns around for me. It’s a thing. Don’t worry about it. The last time I sang to someone else was a bedtime song to my 4 year old brother, Jackson. It’s my favorite time with him because he gets calm and quiet and sings with me so sweetly.
For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
A warm comfortable home, food on the table every single day, a career that I love and a “hobby” that I get paid to do, a husband who loves me, a family who supports me, and a voice that I feel safe to use. Life is good right now (Knock on wood).
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
My childhood was pretty idyllic. My parents made sure that we travelled the world, excelled in school, learned an instrument, and played a sport every season. We spend the summers in Italy and at sleep away camp in Vermont. I would not change any of that for the world. I would change the way that we all interacted though. I wish they had been more lenient with me and rules. I rebelled hard in high school and I don’t know if that could have changed but if I had been able to tell them more about my life, I feel like perhaps not.
If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
To sing like Taylor Swift? I’m only half kidding. I have a singing obsession. But more practically, it would be the quality to
Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
Going on a vacation by myself. I have this dream of heading off to the beach for a long weekend by myself. Meditating, enjoying the world alone, and not speaking to anyone else. I haven’t done it because it also terrifies me.
What is your most treasured memory?
On our honeymoon on the Amalfi Coast, I went all out and surprised my husband one day with a private chartered boat. It was the most perfect day of my entire life and for sure my most treasured memory. We spent the day swimming in grottos, eating the most amazing meal at a private restaurant looking out at the coastline, and boating back home with Prosecco at sunset. It was magical.
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
I would probably stop caring so much about what other people think of me. As Elsa famously sings, I’d “Let it go”. I have trouble with that currently.
What do you value most in a friendship?
Support, humor, and respect.
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
She is the fucking best. I’m obsessed with my mom. We talk (at least) once/day on the phone and I miss her pretty much all the time. She’s the most generous, thoughtful, and caring person I know. Not to mention she’s brilliant.
Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
Putting this in writing makes me literally sob, but my sister. She is my soul mate, other half, and best friend. I have no idea how I would live without her in my life. Sometimes I think she is the only one who understands me.
When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
See above. My husband and I just finished the last season of Newsroom. Let me tell you that finale is a tear-jerker. I cried for pretty much the whole episode. I’m a sucker for a sappy story-line. In fact, I can’t think of a movie during which I haven’t cried. I cried by myself in the car one night last week after work. It was a long day and I was feeling overwhelmed by everything that I had to do there followed by all of the blog and consulting work I had to do as soon as I got home. It was not a cute evening.
I only answered a few of the full 36 questions but I suggest checking it out and answering a few yourself or with your partner.