Today Anel and I have been married for ten years. Ten! A whole decade with this guy. I deserve a medal or something, right? I kid, I kid.
We danced our first dance to Frank Sinatra’s The Best Is Yet To Come and boy were those lyrics spot on. We had no idea how full and beautiful and full-of-love our life together would become. This morning I looked at our kids and teared up just thinking about the fact that I had no idea as we were dancing that dance that we could create something so incredible.
A few of my favorite relationship blog posts from the past are when I compared marriage to a team sport, 5 things I’ve learned in 5 years of marriage (all of the tips still ring true), Fair Play, and how to support a spouse with anxiety.
But instead of marriage tips, today I thought I’d share some personal stories from the last decade with you guys!
How we met:
I was interviewing for a marketing position at IIN when I kept seeing this guy (or kid I should say, he was 24!) walking past the room and looking at me. I thought he was cute but didn’t think much of it. I got the job and started a few weeks later. Anel was in charge of events at the school and we were tasked to work on a project together in my first month. I had a crush immediately but he had a girlfriend so I kept it to myself.
A few months later he broke up with said girlfriend and I threw a party shortly after just so I would have an excuse to hang out with him. The day after the party, he showed up at my apartment in his grape-purple 70s Camaro that he had been fixing up for years. When I walked out he was leaning on it just like a heartthrob from a teen movie.
But I thought that was super weird and made my friend come on the joy ride with us.
At this point, we had both moved to the sales department at work and I was his manager so we spent a lot of time togehter at work. On top of that, we would go for a walk in Madison Square Park on our lunch break every day. It become clear that we were very much into each other and on Halloween we decided to join friend groups and go out as a group.
That night we had our first kiss and were inseparable after that.
How he proposed:
He moved into my apartment about a year after we started dating and proposed 6 months after that. We were heading to Paris for my 26th birthday because my sister was studying abroad there and we wanted to visit her. I didn’t realize that my entire family knew that he was going to propose on my birthday. My dad and his wife brought the ring in their carry-on because Anel was afraid I would somehow find it.
After my birthday dinner with the fam, Anel and I snuck off to walk along the Seine and watch the Eiffel Tower sparkle. It was perfect and so romantic and that is where he proposed. We spent the next week in Provence and didn’t tell anyone about the engagement. This was pre-Instagram so it was easy!
Our lowest moment:
After our miscarriages, I was in a really really dark place. I felt like my body was broken and I was mourning the loss of the two babies that could have been. After a few months, Anel was ok but I still wasn’t. It was hard for me to understand how he could be ok and it was hard for him to understand why I couldn’t pull myself together. After couples therapy and many conversations we both understood each other better and were able to move on but there was a minute there when I really didn’t think we would make it.
The moral of this story is to put in the work because what came out on the other side for us was even more incredible than what we had before.
Our best moment:
There are so many good moments and memories over the last 10 years but the ones that come to mind first are the ones where he’s playing with our kids and making them laugh hysterically. Anel is the best father and watching him with our children makes me love him even more!
But one moment that stands out in my mind above the rest was when, on our honeymoon, our bags never made it to the airport in Naples. The airline had been on strike and we had to change our flights from Frankfurt, it was a whole huge mess and the longest travel day ever. We still had to drive all the way to the Amalfi Coast and it was 10pm. We were told our bags weren’t coming for 2 more hours and I just started sobbing. I was exhausted from the wedding and the travel and just wanted to go to bed.
Anel grinned and said let’s have some fun! We went to the airport bar, bought a bottle of wine and played silly games like hangman and tic tac toe while getting tipsy and laughing the whole time. I knew in that moment, more than ever before, that I had chosen the right one.