I wore this outfit to my friend’s Friendsgiving luncheon a few weeks ago and totally forgot to share it with you guys! I’m heading up to Rhode Island today to be with my family for the holiday, and started writing this post, which was supposed to be about the outfit, last night. As I sat down to do it, I felt a wave of emotion, like I’ve been feeling all week.
At first, I thought maybe it was PMS and my period was coming back. But I’m pretty sure I’m not getting it, and and also pretty sure that my emotional week has to do with the holiday.
Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday, but in the last few years it’s also become a super emotional day for me. Let me explain…
My family is Italian so we do everything big, especially holidays. Growing up, I had no idea that a lasagna course between antipasti and the turkey wasn’t the norm. I mean, what is Thanksgiving without lasagna??? We would always wake up early and watch the Macy’s parade at my grandparents’ house, eating Italian cookies in our PJs. After my grandfather died, it was sad, but the tradition stayed mainly the same so within a few years it felt “normal” again.
A few years later, my parents got divorced and that first Thanksgiving after their split was the first and only time I’ve spent the holiday away from my sister (until this one, don’t get me started). It was an emotional year, and we spent the better part of the day in tears. But, as time tends to do, it healed our wounds and things got easier. We created new traditions and learned to be ok with splitting holidays between our parents.
Then my Nana passed away and our traditions changed again. We didn’t have her house to stay at as a family, and we didn’t have her. That gutted me, and still takes a toll every year. I try not to think about it too much. She held us all together in the way that strong grandmothers tend to do.
Two years ago, I miscarried on Thanksgiving. I have a vivid memory of bleeding all over my seat, and just sobbing in the bathroom. I felt like my world was ending. I didn’t think it could get any worse… Until it did last Thanksgiving. Trump had just won the election and I was confused and sad about that. I had also found out I was pregnant again only a few weeks before. But that Tuesday I started bleeding.
It ended up being totally fine, and that was the beginning of my sweet Miss Amalia Louise. But don’t get me wrong, it was scary AF. I cried a lot.
This year, I feel so blessed and so thankful for my beautiful baby girl. She has brought more joy and love to my life than I ever thought possible. Being her mother is the best gift in the world, and sometimes I can’t believe that she’s actually ours.
When I think about it, I had to go through a lot of those things for me to have her. If my parents hadn’t divorced, I never would have met Anel (long story for another time). If I hadn’t miscarried two years ago, I wouldn’t have her. I know not everyone thinks this but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and in this case, that feels especially true.
Total side note, and I remembered this as I’m writing it, but I also got my first period on Thanksgiving circa ’96. Maybe I’m doomed for it to be a dramatic day for my life, or maybe things have turned around. Fingers crossed for 2017.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all! I’m so grateful for your love and support, especially as I find my footing as a new mom.
PS I’ll be back on Friday with my favorite Black Friday sales, so come back to check out that post!
Photos by Carter Fish.