{Photos by Kate McElwee}

Today, my husband and I are celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary. I recently told someone that we had been married for three years and he said, “Oh, so like a long time!”. It feels like our wedding was only a few months ago, not a few years and we’re still learning more about each other every day.

When we were engaged, older couples always told us that marriage is “hard” and “a lot of work”. They were so right! It’s the most wonderful, gratifying relationship I’ve ever had but also the most difficult which, I believe, is a result of being around each other so much of the time and dealing with really grown up things together.

I thought that Anel should jump in on this post so that you can hear from both of us how it is to be married to each other! Plus I’m sharing some of my favorite photos from our the best day of our lives exactly three years ago today.

1. What have you learned about marriage over the last three years?

Julia: It’s better to be happy than to be right. People always say to choose your battles and now I really understand why! I could spend all day everyday trying to be right (which I’ve done in the past) but it ends up stressing out both of us and making the relationship strained. Now I push for what I really want and need and drop the small stuff… Most of the time anyway!

Anel: Compromise, communication, intimacy and laughter are key. If you have those, all is good. It’s also important to have your own lives and activities. Time to together is essential but so is time spent apart with your own friends doing what you love.

2. What is one thing that pushes the other person’s buttons?

Julia: Anel hates it when I tell him to do something. He does not like being told by anyone what to do, especially me! I have learned how to ask him for things when I need him as opposed to being bossy which is an unfortunately natural quality for me.

Anel: Julia keeps the house very very very clean (she’s bordering on OCD in my opinion), and she hates when I leave things lying around or don’t clean up after myself.

3. What do you love the most about the other person?

Julia: Where to start? Anel is an incredible man with many talents but what I love most about him is his ability to put up with me. I can be intense, over-the-top, and emotional, and he can remain patient and understanding through all of that.

Anel: She always has my back and supports me in everything that I want to do, even when she knows it might not be the best idea. More superficially, I love it when she has a laughing fit and can’t stop herself. Her joy makes me so happy!

4. How do you do to make the other person laugh?

Julia: Sometimes I stand up and dance in the living room. I have really goofy, embarrassing dance moves and it cracks him up every time.

Anel: I have a knack for making up nick names for people and that really cracks her up. And burps (Can I say that?).

5. What do you still want to work on as a husband/wife?

Julia: I’ve always been impatient and I need to work on being more patient with him.

Anel: I need to work on being more empathetic. Sometimes it’s hard for me to understand where she’s coming from because I can’t put myself in her shoes. Also, there is always room for improvement in communication and I know that I need to work on that more.

6. What makes you a good husband/wife?

Julia: I love to take care of people, and Anel probably sees that the most. I love to cook his favorite meals and see his happiness as he eats them, I love to buy him thoughtful gifts that make him feel special and loved. I just love to love him!

Anel: No matter what the situation is, my goal is to make her happy. I try to put her first and prioritize our marriage over everything else in my life. But more importantly, I am an excellent dance partner at weddings.

7. What is one thing you want to do together in year 4 of marriage?

Julia: Make a baby! Wait, can I say that? Guess I just did. In the next year, we’re going to start thinking about having kids which is so exciting. Anel is going to be the best dad in the whole world (he’s amazing with children) and I can’t wait to take that life-changing journey with him whether it’s this year, next year, or in five years.

Anel: I’m ready to start a family and be a father. I’m excited to see how how relationship changes as we become parents.