Closing the Baby Chapter

As one of two kids, I always imagined growing up to be a mother of two. A family of four was all I knew and it felt right.

But because I suffered from pretty extreme anxiety post-partum after Amalia was born, there was a year or two when I didn’t even know if two kids were in the cards for us. I’m beyond grateful that I was able to find an amazing therapist who supported me in getting medicated and keeping my anxiety under control… and talking me through the fact that it could be different the second time around (which it was!).

When Luca was born, it felt like sunshine. I got that beautiful new baby experience that I had always dreamed of. For a few months, I was so drunk off of that feeling that I even told Anel I would be down for a third kid.


9 months into Lukey’s life and our family feels totally and utterly complete. It is perfect just the way it is. Despite the fact that the world is falling apart and we’re all losing our minds, I’m deliriously happy with how our family has turned out. My children are healthy and happy and head over heels for each other.

I adore them and I adore our family unit. So we have officially closed the door to having more kids.

Once we made that decision final, it felt really good to think ahead. I fantasize about future family vacations, nightly family dinners, Amalia and Luca’s relationship as they grow up, and lots of adventures as a family of four!

The last six years of my life have been revolving around trying to conceive, being pregnant, taking care of a baby, or dealing with the fallout of PPD. To think about a future where none of that is involved feels right… and exciting!