Medicated

Lemon Stripes Medicated for Anxiety

I went back and forth all weekend on whether or not to publish this blog post. It made my heart race to even think about it going live, but here we are. Please have an open mind when reading it, and be kind.

So here we go…

I’ve had anxiety for as long as I can remember. As a kid I was scared of everything from ghosts to dogs to sleeping in the dark. I put a lot of pressure on myself as a teenager and my anxiety really began to blossom at that time. In college, my friends and I went out a lot and probably drank too much, so I think a lot of my feelings of anxiety were muted, but always still there under the surface.

Upon graduation I threw myself into work and soon after started Lemon Stripes, so I spent about 80 hours a week working and very little time sitting with my thoughts and feelings, let alone having a life! When I had my miscarriages two years ago, I was in a very dark place and everything started to make me anxious in a way I had never experienced before. Sounds, smells, people, conversations, and even driving in the car would send me into panic mode for seemingly no reason.

After Amalia was born, this was magnified tenfold. Every time she cried, I would get shaky and tear up. Leaving the house felt like going to the moon.  My post-partum anxiety was scary, but I didn’t know what it was for a long time, and I didn’t know how to talk about it. I thought my friends and family would think I was a terrible mom so I kept it inside for a long time.

Then a few months ago I wrote about it. I’ve been so open and honest with you guys throughout this journey, and I wanted to share that piece of my motherhood with the world. I hoped that people would read it and feel less alone. It worked, and I’ve gotten countless notes and emails from readers telling me that they’ve gotten help since reading that post. That means the world to me!

On the flip side, I got some negative comments saying that I posted it for engagement and that I was inauthentic for hiding it for so long. Those comments hurt me so much that I literally almost quit blogging completely. I haven’t talked at all about my anxiety here since then because I was so afraid of what people would say. Looking back, I realize how crazy that sounds and wish I hadn’t let the people trying to get me down get the best of me.

But in the end it was a blessing because it was a wake up call as to how bad I was really feeling. I put my therapy into overdrive and worked tirelessly to battle my feelings of fear, sadness, and anxiety.

Shortly after that, over Thanksgiving, we went to Bermuda and I had a panic attack. Like a really bad one. I could hardly enjoy the trip despite the fact that I was with my family in one of my favorite places. I tried to put on a smile and enjoy it all, but I couldn’t shake the anxiety. It felt like a big weighted ball was sitting on my chest and I couldn’t breathe for days.

On our way home, I emailed my therapist and told her I was ready to talk about medication. When I started therapy about a year ago, I had told her that my goal was to do things naturally, without the help of chemicals. I’ve taken every anti-anxiety supplement and tincture in the book. I’ve meditated, I’ve talked about my feelings, I’ve exercised, I’ve done it all. And none of it was enough.

A week later I was prescribed an SSRI that is often used in generalized anxiety patients. I started on a super low dosage and within days I felt 75% better. Now, two months later, I can say with full confidence that I am a completely different person.  I feel like myself again for the first time in years. On a recent date night, Anel said that he feels like he has his wife back!

So how has this medication changed me? I can’t even begin to list all the ways, but here are a few:

Work: I’m more organized in how I manage my days and with my editorial calendar. I no longer write last minute blog posts at 11pm the night before they’re going live. Looking at my to do list doesn’t make me panic, and I can accomplish so much more each day because I’m not paralyzed in a crippling emotional state.

Motherhood: I’m able to be present with my daughter. I can take her out of the house for hours without feeling anxious. We have more playdates and do more things. I feel guilty that I didn’t do this sooner because I feel like she missed out on so much when I was anxious. But I’m trying to move on and focus on making her life amazing now more than ever. We’re both thriving and so so happy. We laugh a lot, we cuddle a lot. And while I’ve always loved her more than anything in the world, to be able to love her without the attached anxiety is pure magic and the happiest feeling I’ve ever experienced.

Marriage: There are a million and one ways that this has changed my marriage. I’m more carefree and the little things Anel does that would normally just be annoying, don’t send me into a tailspin. We’re more intimate and have so many more laughs. Side bar: Props to Anel for dealing with me for those three years. It wasn’t easy but he stuck by my side and supported me through it all. He is an amazing man and I’m so lucky to have him.

Beyond those aspects, life in general is just bright and cheery again. Yes I still have bad days. And of course I still get stressed out from time to time, but I no longer have a constant nagging feeling dragging me down. I can live my life like a normal person, see my friends, and feel happy every single day.

Obviously being medicated has changed my life, but the sad part is that I was so scared to share that. The stigma that we have against mental illness and being treated for it is bigger than I realized. I remember when a blogger that I follow and admire started talking about her anxiety, I thought why would I take advice from her if she doesn’t even have it together? I am beyond embarrassed for having that thought. Because I realize now that if you can push through a mental and emotional state like anxiety and still go to work and live your life, you’re an incredible human.

The other stigma that exists in a big way is around the medication itself. If I had a stomach flu and took medicine, no one would think twice. But taking meds for a mental illness and then (gasp) speaking about it isn’t quite the norm in our society… Yet anyway.

But once I started talking to friends and family about my experience, I learned that some of them were medicated for anxiety and depression as well and I had no idea.

So there it is. I’m medicated. And I’ve never been happier!

Photo by Julia Dags.

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  1. Kristen said:

    Kudos to you for sharing this. By helping yourself and publicly talking about it here, I think you are probably aiding many people who might not otherwise seek the care they need. It’s hard to ask for help! I recently read Rachelle Hruska’s Glow post about anxiety — I highly suggest taking a look if you haven’t seen it! http://theglow.com/rachelle-hruska-macpherson/

    1.14.19 · Reply
  2. Ann said:

    Thank you for sharing! People that don’t struggle with mental health really don’t understand. And for those people that called you out for not talking about your postpartum stuff? Ridiculous. You keep doing you, and know you are reaching people that understand and appreciate you!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  3. Cait said:

    Hi there! I’m so glad you have found something that helps you. I am also an anxious mom, and medication really helps me to be the best mom and wife and person I can be. Life is short and you deserve to enjoy it.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  4. Meghan said:

    You are awesome! Thank you for sharing, being you and leading the way.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  5. SV said:

    Thank you for sharing your experience. My 15 year old son just started his medication last night. He’s had it prescribed for over a year and refused to take it. He finally reached out to me this week and said he was ready. Year 14 for him was the hardest year of my/his life. He had numerous court appearances, an assault (on him), failing grades, etc. etc. We did our best to love him through it and I am optimistic for the first time that he will get what he really needs.

    1.14.19 · Reply
    • margo said:

      So sad to read this. I was in a similar situation with my son. I hope the medication helps your son to feel better and for you to get respite from the stress youve been going through.

      1.16.19 · Reply
  6. Kate said:

    Thank you for sharing. I know that took so much courage. I am so in awe of bloggers who can put their life out there for people to judge. Everyone has good and bad days and it is so easy to judge from behind a screen. I love how real you are and I am so appreciative of you showing the ups and downs of life and not sugar coating it all. Ignore the haters and keep being you. You are loved by many ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    1.14.19 · Reply
  7. Daniela said:

    Julia, you are SO SO SO brave. This touched my heart so deeply. I have anxiety as well and since my mom got her cancer diagnosis, I’ve been trying to battle my fears without much success.
    Your story inspires me so so much, and makes me feel less alone. I’m so happy for you and it brings me hope.
    Sending you a warm and grateful hug all the way from Argentina 🙂
    Daniela.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  8. Mackenzie said:

    I’m so happy for you! ☺️

    1.14.19 · Reply
  9. Melissa said:

    So glad you’re feeling better and you have found what works for you. That is all that matters and anyone else who tries to tell you differently doesn’t matter!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  10. Amy said:

    It’s a difficult decision when you so much want to do it without medication-I recently started takes an SSRI, too, and I am SO HAPPY. No more anxiety attacks while driving with my baby in the car, that old feeling that I CAN do hard things, feeling capable and happy. All good things!! Good for you for finding what works for you!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  11. Kimberlyj said:

    Good for you and … those that feel free to give you negative commentary! Do you

    1.14.19 · Reply
  12. Haley said:

    I’ve followed you for quite some time and have never taken the time to write a comment, but this time was different for me. This is refreshing and thank you for being so open and honest! Happy to hear you’re doing so well – this is a topic more need to read and talk about. No shame in seeking the help you need! Again, thank you ❤️

    1.14.19 · Reply
  13. Kelly said:

    You are doing a huge service for anyone suffering from mental health issues! Thank you for sharing, for your bravery and strength, and using your platform for something that truly will make a difference. There is such a negative stigma about medication but the more that people are open about it (like you!), fingers crossed that the stigma does away! So so happy for you!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  14. Abby said:

    Authenticity looks good on you! Congratulations on being vulnerable and brave and doing what you needed to do to be your best self. Never apologize for that!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  15. Becky said:

    Thank you for sharing this. I think I really needed to read this today. I have done all those things you said too…thank you passionflower, valerium and motherwort, but I’m a little tired of pushing through. Your courage to share landed on eyes that needed to read it.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  16. Sam said:

    Thank you for sharing. I too don’t understand why people are so against medication specially in the setting of menta illness. Though I fully support therapy as a wonderful and effect treatment I do believe some people (maybe more than we think) can truly only get better with the help of medication. This post is helping break away those stigmas of taking medication for mental illness and I applaud you. Again thank you for sharing!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  17. Alisa said:

    Just teared up reading this, so glad you are doing what is best for you – and that it’s working!!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  18. Jess Dupont said:

    All the feels. You’re even more incredible as a blogger to me because you shared this! This feeling that doing what’s best for yourself needs to be hidden is normal, and it needs to change! I’m so excited thinking about all the lives you’re changing just by sharing your journey! ❤️

    1.14.19 · Reply
  19. Julia said:

    Thank you for being so open and honest! I struggle with anxiety as well and felt for a long time that getting starting treatment (for me, therapy) was a sign that I was a failure and I felt very alone. The more people talk about mental health the more others will be inclined to work on their own and become happier! So thank you and I’m so happy for your happiness

    1.14.19 · Reply
  20. Cate said:

    Yes to taking care of (your) business! Yes to your courage for sharing! Yes to science for helping so many people! I’m so happy for you and your family. Please continue to share how it’s going.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  21. Katherine said:

    I love this! As someone who has generalized anxiety I love hearing all your approaches. I have never taken medication but my husband has mentioned that maybe I should be open to it. Some of the things you describe is exactly how I feel sometimes.

    It’s a shame you got such negative feedback from a previous post but I hope you know how many people you help by discussing these topics openly.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  22. Pippa said:

    Thank you for sharing. Please look at the positive comments and know that there are genuine people who will always have your back. We all need that soft place to fall when things seem unbearable. You stepping out of your comfort zone and talking about your struggles may be just what another person needs to hear to move forward.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  23. Merrill said:

    Bless your heart for sharing, you are a champion!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  24. Chanel said:

    Thank you for sharing your experience with us! I’m so glad you decided to publish this post and open up about your raw experience dealing with anxiety. As someone who experiences anxiety daily, but is/was also afraid to seek help in any kind of way, but am so happy I did! I’m so happy you’re feeling better !

    1.14.19 · Reply
  25. Liz said:

    I am so glad to read this. Congratulations on making such a huge leap for you and your family. Two of my young children are medicated for anxiety. We are so grateful for the modern medicine that allows us to help them. We are all better off.
    And, thanks for keeping it real. I am sure this post will help someone take the next step in their own self care.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  26. Dana said:

    I am so glad you shared this, because I have also found that therapy is just not enough. My problem is that I get an anxiety attack whenever I try to take medication, since I feel like I have no control (normally one shouldn’t stop taking these drugs all of a sudden) but the reality is that either my therapist is not good enough or I just need something extra, because anxiety is making my life miserable (and has been for a very long time).
    This being said, I’m always shocked to read about how many people are struggling with this….

    1.14.19 · Reply
  27. Jamie said:

    So glad you shared this! I have a similar story. Since the birth of my daughter my anxiety went into overdrive and the sad part is I didnt even recognize it. I am a catastrophize and went to the worse possible outcome for everything. It wasn’t until a week after my daughters 1st birthday that I had a full blown panic attack. I was put on meds along with therapy. It took a couple of months but I feel like myself but improved! I now feel present with my daughter.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  28. MarciaMarciaMarcia said:

    Thank you for sharing your story! I think it’s so important to de-stigmatize mental health issues – if you developed asthma, you wouldn’t hesitate to use an inhaler, and this really isn’t any different, except that it’s brain chemistry. After several years of (ultimately unsuccessful) fertility treatments, I went on a low dose of an SSRI a few years ago. I did it because I thought I was mildly depressed. I had no idea how anxious I was all the time until I woke up one day about two weeks in and suddenly wasn’t anxious anymore! To not have that clenched up feeling all the time was like a miracle, and I’ve never looked back. It’s easy for people on the outside to criticize, but only you know what’s right for you and your family, and good for you for taking care of yourself!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  29. Melissa said:

    Good for you for sharing. There are so many people who have anxiety. Do not let the haters ruin the good work you do.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  30. Emily Taylor said:

    So happy for you! Keep doing you! Thank you for sharing! 🙂

    1.14.19 · Reply
  31. Tara said:

    Wow. This gave me so much comfort. I just had my second baby and the anxiety has been earth shattering. Every time I get in the car I have a panic attack and I’ve never experience them before in my life. After meeting with doctors and being placed on medication I finally feel ( somewhat) back to normal. Thanks for reminding me that I am not alone. ❤️ The struggle is real but so is the love.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  32. Lindsey said:

    Julia- you go girl!! Good for you for putting this extremely personal info out there, and THANK YOU! It’s people like you that have so much influence over others (in a good way) and this makes me so happy to see you putting yourself out there to keep the conversations going! Have you seen the recent interview with James Middleton (Kate Middleton’s brother) doing the same? On a personal note- I am a momma who struggles with anxiety/depression and Adult ADD- ultimately I needed to start taking medication for all of the above and it has comepletey changed my life. As for the ADD meds, I know they are controversial and many other mothers have been extremely judge mental towards me once they found out but I am hoping that someday, (maybe today thanks to you!) people will take the time to feel some compassion for others who are trying there best, but simply have a biochemistry that needs a little extra help.

    Thank you again for posting, I hope everyone else out there will help the positivity feedback pour in!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  33. Sara said:

    Thank you for sharing! I don’t have anxiety myself, but come from a family with a lot of clinical depression, so I know what kind of difference medication can make in someone’s life. It is literally life-saving. I am so glad you are feeling better and more yourself. Best wishes for continued health & happiness. -S

    1.14.19 · Reply
  34. Rachel said:

    Thanks for sharing your honest story, Julia! Stories like this are so important. I’m happy for you that you have found what works for you, your body, and your life.

    Rachel | http://www.rachelstriving.com

    1.14.19 · Reply
  35. Claire said:

    Thanks for sharing. I think it’s important to share these stories to help eliminate the shame that we can feel taking steps to be healthier.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  36. Natasha said:

    So much respect for you and this blog post! Being raw for the public is not an easy task. Nor is dealing with anxiety. You are one brave and amazing Mama! Your daughter has a great role model! So happy you are feeling better.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  37. Emma said:

    I am so proud of you and so grateful to you-both for taking care of yourself AND sharing that with us. Every voice speaking for the importance of caring for your mental health and the reality that different people will have different needs-and that this will shift over time-adds to the support and decreases the stigma.
    Much love to you!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  38. Khira said:

    Love your honesty Julia, it’s a huge reason why so many of us connect to you and your blog! So happy you are feeling good 🙂

    1.14.19 · Reply
  39. Greta said:

    Thank you for sharing this! I always value your honesty.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  40. Karen Stacey said:

    I’ve also suffered from anxiety for most of my life and didn’t realize what it was until last year. I just thought I was nervous or shy or high-strung. Realizing it was a conditional over which I had little control was an epiphany, and asking my internist for medication, while incredibly difficult, simply felt like the right thing to do. I take the lowest dose of lorazepam possible before bedtime (no more 2am panic attacks), and to say this has changed my life is no exaggeration. Good for you for realizing you needed help—and getting it. And then going public about it. That’s brave, my friend.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  41. Krista said:

    Thank you so much for sharing! I hope you always feel confident to share whatever is on your heart. My daughter and husband both take medication (along with other forms of therapy) for different mental concerns and we struggled with starting medication therapy for years. Now – everyone feels like the best version of themselves and I wish we had started sooner! It is a shame that discussing things like this can draw criticism – but the more people open up (like you are here) the more accepted it will become (but I truly believe everyone should feel comfortable going whatever route they need to help themselves). Thank you!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  42. Ashley said:

    Thank you so much for sharing this! I think it’s incredibly brave, and it’s inspiring to read your story. So glad that you’re feeling better every day!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  43. Kristina said:

    Thank you for sharing!!!! I think a lot of things that people go thru aren’t spoken about because of what others may say but sooo many people are affected by it. Thank you for being honest and sharing with us!!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  44. Emily Hunsinger said:

    Thank you for being so open and honest, your incredible!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  45. Elizabeth said:

    Thank you so much for sharing! I’ve been on medication for depression for 15 years, and recently tried to taper off (with my doctor’s help, of course), but realized I couldn’t manage without it. Felt like somewhat of a failure at first, but then realized it’s what I need to be “me” and that’s ok! Thanks for helping to erase the stigma. Best of luck to you!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  46. Kate said:

    Go girl!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  47. Lynda Novak said:

    I wrote you a long messages months ago telling you how medication changed my life. As I didn’t hear from you I felt like I had stepped on some toes. Yes meds are wonderful. You don’t feel “dopey “. You feel finally just like yourself again!

    1.14.19 · Reply
    • Julia said:

      I’m so sorry that I didn’t respond to your message and you would never step on my toes, I promise! It was all just so hard for me to process back then that I didn’t really know how to respond. But messages like yours made such a difference for me and today I appreciate them even more. So thank you!

      2.19.19 · Reply
  48. Katie said:

    As a fellow medicated anxiety sufferer thank you for being so open and honest about your struggles! I think the only way to end the stigma is to talk about it. Medication changed me, and made me the best me possible and I am so happy to hear that it has done the same for you!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  49. Alexis said:

    You are a brave and amazing person for sharing! Kudos to finding what works to be the best you you can be! I’m sure this story will help others too.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  50. Kate said:

    Same, girl, same.

    It takes a strong woman to accept the help. We got this. No shame.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  51. Emily said:

    I’ve had anxiety my entire life and have avoided meds thus far but have been struggling with whether I may need to start them. I really appreciated your post on anxiety and wish you hadn’t received negative feedback. That sucks. My favorite posts of yours are always the wellness ones. Thanks for all your hard work!!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  52. Christine said:

    Way to go – taking care of you is the best thing you can do for anybody else! This is a great post contributing to breaking down stigmas surrounding mental health and treatment! If you need a doctor-prescribed medication to be your best self, it’s no different than seeking medication for a chronic illness or pain. Congratulations on this big step!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  53. Ada said:

    Thank you so much for sharing your story! My anxiety has been magnified since the birth of my daughter as well and my husband has struggled with anxiety for many years. After our daughter he too decided it was time for medication and also did the same as you. You are definitely not alone ♥️

    1.14.19 · Reply
  54. Bondud said:

    Julia, I have often wondered if this anxiety is hormonal for women, having suffered with it myself. Sort of a built in mechanism for safety and protection responses, since we ARE responsible for the very lives of our children. It seems to go into overdrive in childbearing years and it has wained now for me at my age. Just a thought. You are not alone.
    XXOO

    1.14.19 · Reply
  55. Karen said:

    It’s so awful that you felt this way! So sad. It’s not easy putting yourself out there and people have to realize that just because you write a blog and generously share a lot of your life, you are entitled to privacy and also that you can talk about things on your own time and when you are ready.

    Because of that post of yours months ago, I recognized from your description that what was wrong with me was that I was having extreme anxiety (amongst other symptoms) – something I had never had before. Everything was suddenly making me anxious, even just talking to my husband!

    After I read your post I knew I shouldn’t be feeling that way (it all seemed to creep up on me slowly – a gradual decline). I went to visit my doctor and they did some tests and discovered that I had developed hyperthyroidism after having my daughter a few months prior. This undiagnosed and dangerous condition led to a decline in my physical and mental health. I was put on medication and now I feel like a new person! It is all thanks to you for sharing, that I recognized that something that I was generally unfamiliar with was what was happening to me.

    I don’t even think your impact on my quality of life and health can be underestimated. I was planning to get pregnant again, and having undiagnosed hyperthyroidism can cause irreparable brain damage and harm to a fetus. Just think about that for a moment. So I would personally like to thank you for doing what you do.

    I doubt anyone would think less of me because I have to take medication now, and I can’t believe anyone would truly think less of you because you chose medication, either. Have you ever considered that your condition might be biological? A hormonal imbalance or something like that? In that case would you feel better that you are now taking medication? It honestly should not matter either way. Anyway, I’m just happy that you are feeling better! So keep on doing what you do!

    1.14.19 · Reply
    • Julia said:

      I’ve read every single comment on this post, and out of all of them, this one hit me the hardest. Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I’m so beyond happy to hear that you got the help you needed and that you (and your future baby) are happy and healthy now. Sending you so much love and light and know that I’m so thankful for you writing this. xx

      1.15.19 · Reply
  56. Anonymous said:

    Thank you for sharing! I do not personally suffer from severe anxiety, but some people very close to me have and I can relate to Anel’s feelings of seeing the huge change in them from medication.

    I also think it’s helpful to hear from someone who is taking medication but also is a huge fan of otherwise very clean wellness practices (ie meditation, essential oils, acupuncture, etc etc). It is nice to see an example of the middle…open to both Eastern help (meditation and acupuncture) and Western help (medication).

    I salute your openness! <3

    1.14.19 · Reply
  57. Taylor said:

    Thank you for sharing, Julia! I hope someday mental illness will be less of a taboo topic to discuss and the more we share stories the closer we get. I am so glad that you have found relief for your anxiety. It can be so debilitating and I’m glad that you are doing so much better now!

    Taylor | https://www.livingtaylored.com

    1.14.19 · Reply
  58. Good for you for doing what you need to do to take back your life. I still don’t understand why people feel you have to share EVERY aspect of your life if you’re a blogger. I’m so happy you’re feeling better!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  59. Lauren Fielding said:

    Thanks for sharing this! I’m so glad you found something that helps you! I don’t think people understand what anxiety is like if they don’t have it! It is nice to know I’m not alone and it gives me hope that you have found things that work for you and are doing better. So happy for you!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  60. Libby said:

    I am so happy for you, and here to 100% be a supportive follower through this journey! My life goal is to be a family practice physician, and I want to incorporate more psychology practice into my (way in the) future practice because mental health is so important for being healthy in your other aspects in life. So in a way I hope to de-stigmatize more!! Thank you for sharing this! It really does help others immensely! Have an awesome Monday, Julia!!

    xoxo Libby
    https://premedwearspearls.blogspot.com

    1.14.19 · Reply
  61. Deirdre said:

    My story parallels your so much – anxiety forever, got soooo much worse after my second child. I too tried counselling and every natural remedy in the book but it was not enough. Last October I went on medication and like you it has changed my life. I wish I had done it sooner – I fell like this is who I am meant to be. I have sometimes felt weak or embarrassed for being on medication and your post just made me feel better about it. You are amazing and this will just make you more amazing and you are helping countless other people with this post. Congratulations!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  62. Bryelle said:

    This is my first ever comment, but I had to because reading this made me cry this morning. I’ve always lived with anxiety and the beginning of your story rung so true to me. What really hit me was your ‘after’ benefits. It hit home that fear of stigma shouldn’t outweigh the wellness of my life/how anxiety impacts my relationships. It sounds so simple
    THANK YOU for speaking about this – I’m sure I’m not the only one this struck a chord with.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  63. Jennifer Atchley said:

    Thank you for sharing! I had my first panic attack while driving this last August and starting seeing a therapist for the first time in my life. It has helped me so much and realized that I’ve always had anxiety but similar to you it was always under the surface and I was never able to be in my thoughts. I think it is so important for us mothers to share this with each other. For anyone that tries to talk negatively or not praise you up, they clearly have never had anxiety or a panic attack. It is a real thing and it is paralyzing. We need to all be kinder to each other and lend a hand where we can. ♥️

    1.14.19 · Reply
  64. Sarah said:

    So so happy for you! Thank you for sharing with us!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  65. Di Scholz said:

    Kudos to you for sharing your story! It made me sad to think of all the negative comments from women on your first story about this. We should be here to support each other, share stories and empower each other!

    2019 is your year! And thank you for having this blog so my 2019 can be amazing!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  66. Cynthia said:

    You’re courageous and honest. The only thing that matters is that you’re finally treating the horrible reality of anxiety the best way it can be battled, and that’s with medication. Reading the old school Claire Weekes is such a big help too. She’s saved lives, and made them new again. She’s always been for medication. What you’re doing is helping much more people by doing so ! (Sharing). Fashion blogging is one thing, but sharing a part of yourself that could possibly save another life is much more important! Thank you for your bravery. ♥️

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  67. Jill said:

    Thanks for sharing this! I work in the mental health feild and feel like everyday I am trying to get the message to my patients and their families that medication for mental illness is the same as a medication for any illness. Having someone who has so many followers talking about the same message is great. And I really admire that. Thank you!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  68. Kathleen said:

    Thank you so much for sharing this! I love your honesty & bravery for being so open. I too suffer from panic attacks & anxiety and I always feel like I shouldn’t talk about it. Like people would judge me or accuse me of “just wanting attention.” Your post just makes me realize, we’re all human, we all have our things. Thank you for making me feel normal!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  69. Jill said:

    I could have written this post! I have a 2 y/o and we are trying for a second baby… but, once this phase of my life is over I definitely plan to learn more about medication options. I also feel like I’m doing everything I can “naturally” but something is still off. Anxiety is awful and especially when it impacts relationships with our kiddos.

    Thank you for writing this… the more moms who speak about miscarriage (I’ve had my share ) and mental health issues in women the more supported we will all be!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  70. Katie said:

    Congratulations on making a tough decision but making the correct one. You need to do whatever is going to help you become your best self. I have dealt with anxiety throughout my life and while I am currently not medicated I have taken medicine in the past. I often tell people sometimes we need some help when we are working through hurdles in our life. This isn’t a life long sentence for you. This is a great decision to help you be the best version of yourself. I commend you for speaking publicly about it and honestly I’ve followed your Instagram for years (on my personal account and now also in my efforts to create a whole health blog) but now because of your transparency I’m an even more loyal follower. Hope 2019 is your best year yet. ❤️

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  71. kim said:

    Thanks for sharing – the more open people are the less stigma will be attached.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  72. EC said:

    Yes, this. Thank you, thank you, thank you. My daughter turns one tomorrow and I’ve been on Zoloft for 9 months. I still hurt when I look back at photos of her as a baby, because I was so crippled by anxiety I couldn’t know her as herself. I too thought I “should” do things the natural way but I’m forever grateful I turned to medication. Motherhood changes everything. The greatest gift we can give our families is to be present. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  73. Carleen said:

    Thanks for sharing, no shame in medication. Sometimes I get annoyed when I read blogs because everything seems so perfect, from the clothes to the kids to the healthy food and the amazing house…it’s refreshing for someone to be real.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  74. Melinda said:

    I’m so glad you shared this and medication is working for you. I’d just like to mention that for many people, it takes trying multiple medications and dosages over an extended time frame to find medication that helps/works. It can be a very frustrating process that can last years.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  75. Michelle F said:

    I applaud you for being so brave and sharing your struggle with anxiety. Don’t let ppl ever bring you down for your bravery and honesty. They probably only wish they could have those amazing qualities! Keep doing you Bc there are so many of us who love and appreciate everything you do! You truly have helped me open my eyes to some same issues and realize I’m not alone! Thank you!!

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  76. Sue Brown said:

    You truly are an inspiration. Blogs and Instagram so often show us the “pretty” and ” filtered” aspects of someones life and I can only imagine how frightening it must have been for you to write and share your journey. I have no doubt that you have and will touch and impact someone’s life and struggles and for that you are to be admired and thanked ♡

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  77. Kelsey said:

    Love your honesty – thank you for this post to continue a tough conversation. Anxiety and depression truly touch every family in some way.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  78. Cattknap (Cathleen) said:

    I am so proud of you for sharing this post. I am sure you have helped more people than you know. I am very happy that your meds are greatly helping you! Kudos my dear!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  79. Rachel said:

    Thank you! YES we have to share how medicine can help! I feel like people have a negative experience with medicine and all of the sudden it’s the devil and can’t help. I am all about trying things naturally but sometimes you need more and we have the privilege of living at a time when we can use medicine to help! I love to read things like this and be able to relate in a REAL way and I think when you follow someone for a while reading things like this makes more of a connection rather than reading a random article so please know how much things like this help people! I suffer with anxiety, I guess always but no one paid it any mind when I was little. After college it was bad. I went to an amazing psychologist in CT finally and after some time could just feel like it wasn’t enough. I needed help and told her I think I needed medicine to help and she and my doctor agreed and I was prescribed a low anxiety medicine and it was the greatest thing that could have happened to me at the time. It really help me enjoy life again, put things in perspective, and separate my thoughts so I could rationalize why I was upset with things. Also, I suffered a miscarriage before my son, and it made me a nervous wreck during my pregnancy. After he was born I we had a really tough time. A year in and I feel like I am getting a little better with things as he gets older but I have considered going back to therapy and am always like when will I have time to do that? But I think that it is something that will help me in the long run! Thank you again!

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  80. Sarah said:

    I’m so happy you are feeling better and have found what works for YOU! Anxiety is so so so real and heavy and hard, you are brave for writing publicly about it and for getting help. XO

    1.14.19 · Reply
  81. Jill said:

    Thank you for being so open and honest! Sharing your experience is incredibly powerful. You are helping more people than you will ever know. Your strength and courage is an inspiration. Sending you gratitude and love!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  82. Lillie said:

    That’s awesome! I take an SSRI for anxiety as well. I also tried so hard to get through on my own, but it did not work. Finally, after 4 straight days and nights of no sleep, my husband made me an appointment with his (now mine) GP that day. It really helped. I would say that I was functional before, but just barely. And I was completely unable to calm my mind unless totally diverted. So good for you, and thank you for sharing. I’ve wondered if you were taking anything before, and I do think the stigma is going away.

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  83. Jessy said:

    Thank you for this honest and lovely post.. I honestly felt the same way about medication until my husband started taking it to deal with his anxiety. So happy for you and please keep us updated with your ups and downs! (I wrote progress initially but it’s important to recognize the good and bad)

    1.14.19 · Reply
  84. Phoebe said:

    THIS post is everything and I’m so glad you shared! It makes you so much more authentic and relateable to share the things that aren’t perfect. We all have struggles and I’m so glad that the medication has worked for you. I truly hope this inspires someone else that is struggling to take the plunge. Also, screw the people that posted negative comments on your last post. UGH people will find anything to complain about.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  85. Teresa said:

    Thank you for sharing this perspective and your experience. I am a new mom, a counselor and someone who has dealt with depression/anxiety since I was a teenager. Using your platform to openly discuss mental health is a breath of fresh air. Many of us tried to ‘handle’ it on our own, but through therapy and medication assistance it allows us to be the healthiest version of ourselves. Kudos to you!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  86. Also Medicated :) said:

    You go Julia! Being medicated is nothing to be ashamed about but i absolutely get it. Mental health can drag us down more than physical ailments at times, yet this conversation is riddled with stigmas that prevent people from opening up about it. Something that can be the MOST healing. Proud of the work you’ve done! And i appreciate you using your voice and adding to the much needed conversation.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  87. Sarah said:

    Ain’t nothing wrong with taking some happy pills!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  88. Mindi said:

    Awesome post. Idk much about this either way… but happy to read you’re taking care of yourself. Mind is at least as important as body. And – You can say anything or do anything, and being honest about this will help so many. Have a great day – hope you feel awesome for sharing.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  89. Amy Weber said:

    Thank you for sharing-so inspiring. And happy for you!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  90. Anne said:

    Good for you for having the courage to do what you needed to do, and thank you for being open and honest! The more people talk about mental health and medication, the more we can remove the stigma.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  91. I’m so impressed with your honesty and bravery. I have not struggled with anxiety but I love have and I have seen how debilitating and joy sucking it is. Keep speaking out and just tell the critical people to hush!3”

    1.14.19 · Reply
  92. Molly said:

    Thank you for posting this! I’ve been feeling increasing anxiety and depression ever since my dad passed away and no matter what I do I can’t shake it. I hate the thought of taking meds (would like to conquer naturally as much as possible as well) but I think what makes it worse is the thought of people judging you for having these feelings or telling you you’re only saying it for attention. Mental illness is so hard because it’s not something you can see but it’s chronic and it effects you everyday, whether you know it or not. I finally got to the point where I had to reach out to a therapist and I’m glad I did, it’s nice to have a place where you feel safe to put your feelings and inner thoughts out there. Continue these posts girl!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  93. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I am also on a SSRI for generalized anxiety. I so appreciate you breaking the stigma and talking about your anxiety and taking medication. You are amazing and I so appreciate you and your blog!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  94. Anonymous said:

    I am so happy for you that you feel this way! Mental health is such a struggle. I in no way want to criticize you for taking medication. I am so proud of anyone who can discuss mental health openly. But this is a public platform and as someone who dealt with a misdiagnosis and heavy medication for mental health that really hurt my physical health I just wanted to let people know medication is not always the answer. It will work for one person but not another. You just never know. So the most important thing is to talk to your doctor, get second opinions, and listen to your body. Your body will tell you when something is not working for you. To end on a happy note congratulations Julia!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  95. T said:

    I didn’t think I was experiencing PPD/A until I read your post a few months ago – I was still functioning so I didn’t think it “counted”, but after reading your post I finally gathered courage to get help. Thank you so much for being so open and authentic, and thank you for updating us on this next chapter.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  96. Sam said:

    Thank you, thank you for overcoming your fears and sharing this post. Anxiety is no joke, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking medicine for it (I do). It’s actually amazing to have the self-awareness to realize that you need medication, so don’t for a moment let anyone make you feel bad. I’m so glad to hear how much better you’re feeling and what a positive impact medicine has had on every aspect of your life. You deserve it!

    xx
    Sam

    1.14.19 · Reply
  97. Lee said:

    Aw, I loved your story and I’m so glad you shared!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  98. Alyssa said:

    I’m so proud of you. Anxiety is so hard. (As you know!) and I’m so glad that you made a choice that is working for you!!

    Please don’t be scared to share your truths. The people that send you hate must have something going on in their own lives that they’re dealing with and feel the need to take it out on you.

    You are incredible and thank you again for sharing your life. You are helping so many people by doing so.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  99. Lauren Reilly said:

    Good for you (and Amalia)! Don’t let the turkeys get you down. You will be an inspiration for those that need your words of wisdom and experience. I’m sending you a virtual hug. I thoroughly enjoy your posts. Never apologize for needing a break.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  100. Monica said:

    Julia,
    You are so very brave and I am proud of you. I am so happy you are feeling like yourself again. I know the feeling all too well. I suddenly started suffering anxiety when my fourth child was 2 years old. It was such a scary feeling and the only way I could describe it to people that did not understand it was that “I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin”. I too tried a holistic approach at first; diet, exercise etc. nothing helped. I went on Celexa, which didn’t work then started Lexapro. Within 3-4 weeks I magically felt “like me” again. I feel no shame and share my story all the time. Amazing how many people have dealt with similar experience once you open the dialogue. Keep talking and sharing, not only does it help you but it may help someone who is struggling. XO, monica

    1.14.19 · Reply
  101. Jessica said:

    I am so sorry that the people that you are surrounding yourself with are making you feel like this is a big deal — IT really is not! I think everyone knows someone being medicated for health problems! MANY, MANY people suffer from anxiety ranging from very successful professional athletes to CEO’s of Fortune 100 companies. I think your anxiety maybe has also made you believe this lie. People who do not suffer from this really just want you to feel the best you can – whatever it takes. You do you GIRL!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  102. Jamie said:

    ❤️I admit that I’m embarrassed about my depression and anxiety too. For some reason it’s not as scary to say I’m taking medication as it is to talk about the actual feelings that necessitate them. It makes people very uncomfortable so it’s simpler to keep my feelings in and hide them. The more folks talk about it, when they feel safe to do so, the better for all of us. Thank you!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  103. Nina said:

    thank you! You are so relatable!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  104. Rebecca said:

    Honestly not sure how I stumbled across your blog: but my favorite thing about you is that you’re human. And honest. And I think it is brave that you shared this, brave that you took the initiative to do the work and have the conversation in the first place. I’m glad you found something that works for you!! It’s crazy to feel so happy for someone you’ve never met but: you’ve got a cheerleader down in MD who’s proud of you 🙂

    1.14.19 · Reply
  105. Kelsey said:

    Thanks for having the courage to share this.
    I too have had great results with medication, it’s not for everyone but also not taking medication isn’t for everyone. There isn’t a one size fits all approach to mental health. Glad to hear you’re feeling better. Don’t let the haters get you down!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  106. Lewellyn said:

    Gettin the help that helps you is paramount.I would think that being a blogger opens the door to added anxiety, the constant content demand and the the cruel acts of criticism.While readers enjoy your blogging my generation raised families with kind words and via phone calls and articles. Cannot fewer be a cleansing relief. Yes, you give a voice to many things but at what expense to you.Safe travels on this healing path. Your voice and thoughts can be heard in a simpler way. Also, I realize that blogging is your revenue source and clicks are part of the stream.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  107. SR said:

    Thank you SO much for sharing this! I think I actually found your blog through one of your initial anxiety posts and have now been reading regularly. I also struggle with anxiety. I recently went back to therapy after taking some time off and it has been helping, but I have been questioning whether I need medication as well. Like you, I think I have always struggled with this to some extent but didn’t realize what it was until much later. I have always resisted the idea of medication for no reason I can even identify (I think at this point I’m mostly nervous about the side effects and having to go through the process of finding the right one rather than any of the other aspects of it)- but reading the specific ways it has helped you is encouraging me to consider giving it a real shot. Especially with work- work doesn’t give me anxiety, but I feel like because I have anxiety about so many other areas, I often have a hard time focusing and am not as productive as I know I could be if my mind were functioning optimally. Anyways I just wanted to thank you for being so honest and hope that, to whatever extent you are comfortable, you’ll continue talking about anxiety on the blog, as it really helps a lot of us to feel less alone!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  108. DANIELLE AUGUST said:

    Hell yes!!!! Your postpartum post recently gave me so much comfort as it was similar to how I felt. I am medicated now too and I am able to be the mom I want to be. Thank you for being open; you are not alone and you are doing a great job!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  109. Sharon said:

    Great for you for taking care of yourself and knowing that you were in a really bad place! No judgment here! Antidepressants have saved me and many people in my life. Congratulations in feeling happy and well again!!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  110. Amy said:

    Thanks for being authentic. We need more people to be more real. Scary things need to be talked about.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  111. You are incredible Julia! Simply the best! Thank you for being a constant inspiration and example to us all in how to self-care and be proud.

    xx

    1.14.19 · Reply
  112. Terri Slee said:

    You touched on two very important points. There is still a stigma of mental health, seeking therapy, and as you said, gasp! Medication. It MUST STOP! I applaud you 1000 times over for opening up, and I feel so bad you were afraid to say anything. I don’t follow you, because you are perfect (boring). I follow you because you are real. Stay true to yourself. I’m very proud of you.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  113. Jill Gabbe said:

    Dear Julia,
    I’d read your earlier post and appreciated your honesty. I’d also seen your photos from your family trip to Bermuda. Now to understand how you were struggling (in your flowing Lily Pulitzer hostess skirt no less!), well you’re a marvel. No shame ever in recogixing you need support and meds. I’m way way out of your demographic, but I enjoy your blog and posts and always look forward to what you’re up to. Keep up the great work. The good comes back to you. Cheers, Jill

    1.14.19 · Reply
  114. Bridget said:

    Good for you! I know so many people who deal with anxiety and don’t want to take medication! Thank you for sharing!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  115. Alli said:

    Thank you for being honest! There shouldn’t be a stigma! I was nervous and anxious about going on meds after the birth of my son but once I did it felt like I got my life back. The only regret I have is not going on them sooner and suffering with PPD longer than I should have. As moms and wives we have to make sure to take care of ourselves too!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  116. Jennifer Blanc said:

    Thank you for your honesty! Taking medication for anxiety is a must. You need to be able to fully enjoy your beautiful family and life!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  117. KJG said:

    Happy Mom = Happy Child.

    I began my struggle with severe anxiety in the hospital immediately following the birth of my daughter. Although I had always struggled with anxiety, it had been manageable. I said I would breastfeed, and I tried. It didn’t work well. The nurses were bullies…wouldn’t allow me to feed my daughter with a bottle. Perhaps I didn’t fight enough, but in telling them of my anxiety and that I needed medication their response was basically “You said you were going to breastfeed so no medication for you”. The day I left the hospital, I sent my husband to my GP for a prescription. She listened, thank God. I grappled for days, weeks, with breastfeeding vs medication. I couldn’t eat, lost 30 pounds in the first 5 days postpartum, and wasn’t producing milk. When I began to have horrible thoughts and had to call my husband home from work one day because I couldn’t do anything but cry, I realized that it was ok to seek help. If I was happy and at peace, my baby would be too. Fast forward 4 years (with an almost 5 year old, which is unbelievable) and I am still on a small dose SSRI each day. I went off of it for about a year, but as life stressors and sick parents reared their ugly heads, right back on I went.

    Thank you for sharing your story. We need to keep sharing our stories so that others learn it’s ok. It’s ok to put our mental health first. And knowing that others are in our shoes too is incredibly comforting. Before I became pregnant with my daughter, I had a miscarriage. I never knew anyone who had one. As I shared my story, it became more and more obvious how common it was. Had I known, had we shared our stories, I wouldn’t have wallowed in silence and shame.

    KEEP SHARING…Thank you

    1.14.19 · Reply
  118. Hi Julia! Thanks for this post. I’ve been holding off on meds too but this post was encouraging. Anxiety is the worst! Thanks for sharing xo

    1.14.19 · Reply
  119. Sarah m said:

    Thank you so much for sharing! I am starting to get more and more anxiety as I get older and I appreciate that it took you some time to figure out what was best for you. This may sound cliche but I’ve been thinking of seeing someone about my growing anxiety and you have given me the sign I need to seek out some options.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  120. Diane said:

    Thank you for sharing, you are so brave to do so. I have a similar story, having anxiety and severe panic attacks off and on throughout my life starting as a young teenager. Ive always resisted medication and felt therapy helped enough for me. Five years ago while away on a beautiful vacation in Mexico I had a debilitating panic attack that left me a total mess. My panic attacks manifested themselves in ultimately throwing up, so it also added a layer of embarrassment and humiliation to the already crippling mix. I went back to therapy and while it did help, the panic attacks kept coming and the general haze of anxiety still weighed on me. My husband and I wanted to start a family and the thought of dealing with my mental state while pregnant made me paralyzed in fear. Thats when I ultimately decided to start medication. People are on medication while pregnant for all different medical issues and my high risk obgyn assured me everything would be fine and kept me closely monitored. I felt selfish, feeling how could I possibly put a baby at risk, but just had to put my faith in the doctors I trusted. There was no other way for me. As soon as I started a super low dose I felt as if hazy glasses were taken off my eyes and I could see clearer. Now I have my beautiful and super healthy 16 month old and owe it all to the medication. I couldnt have had her without it. I am still on a very low dose (at this point I feel its having more of a placebo effect) and do have two or so panic attacks a year but they are no where near as debilitating and I recover by the next day, way different than the week it used to take me. Anyways, not sure why Im sharing all this, but I guess just to say youre not alone and I wish more people were transparent about the mental health issues theyre going through. Its hard for people (like my husband, and maybe yours?) to really understand what it feels like but their unconditional support is key. Lots of luck to you as you continue your jouney!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  121. Kim said:

    Thank you so much for sharing this! It takes courage but the more people share, the more the stigma against it all will be crushed. I also think it’s so freeing to be able to talk about it! Thanks again for your honesty and openness!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  122. Rebecca said:

    Thank you for being brave and sharing. It’s so important.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  123. Daniela said:

    I love this! Thank you so much for sharing. You have described some things that I feel on a day to day and this encourages me to take action and take care of it. Thank you for using your platform in a positive way!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  124. Lindsey said:

    Thank you for sharing. It takes courage to share my story each and every time that I do. It’s critically important to share though, that’s why I do- If we don’t share then how will other young women know what is happening to them after they have given birth and don’t feel joy.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  125. SB said:

    Anxiety, depression, etc. mental health is a disease. I’m proud of you for sharing your journey, but a little disappointed that you position being medicated as something so horrible. It is a blessing that we have medication to help with the sudden lows of mood disorders. Without it, many of us cannot function. I applaud your trials with the all natural route, however, being medicated is totally normal. Slashing the stigma around mental health also includes how it’s treated — which includes medication, therapy, IOP (intensive outpatient therapy), and even in-patient therapy. Choosing one of those routes does not make you weaker. On the contrary; choosing to heal yourself is a signal of strength. Best of luck to you.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  126. Emilia said:

    Hi Julia,

    I’m so sorry to hear that some readers shamed you in the past when you wrote about your post-partum anxiety. I think it is AMAZING that you can share your life so openly and I’d guess it helps far more people than those who decide they need to criticize.

    Back when I first started reading your blog, you wrote a post about your anxiety. A few other fabulous bloggers were writing about their anxiety too at the time and it helped me so much. To know that there were multiple women (smart, talented, successful women no less) out there who struggled with anxiety made me feel so much better. So, thank you for lending your voice and experience to the important issue of mental health. I’m so glad to hear that you’re doing so well now, too!

    1.14.19 · Reply
  127. Cate said:

    Your vulnerability in sharing your stuggles here will surely help others feeling the same feel less alone. If you’re still interested in exploring other alternatives to medications, science is now showing that the types of gut bacteria we have can be intricately tied to mental health & wellness. There is a facinating book on the topic – The Psychobiotic Revolution: Mood, Food, and the New Science of the Gut-Brain Connection.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  128. Leslie said:

    BRAVO! And AMEN, SISTER.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  129. Melanie said:

    So proud of you for sharing your story. There is no shame in making sure that you are the healthiest you can be – MIND, body and soul. I hope that the coming weeks and months continue to be bright and full of much happiness.

    1.14.19 · Reply
  130. Erin B. said:

    What an amazing post! You are so brave for sharing and I hope you know that this will be so encouraging for some people. Cheers to being authentic and also, living happily. Life is too short not to!

    1.15.19 · Reply
  131. Mandy said:

    I too recently started taking an SSRI. It has been game changing for me. I never really understood anxiety or how it could be so debilitating. Then I had my third child and something changed. The panic attacks started and after about a year I knew I needed something else to help me. I love that you are using this platform to be real about that. We need to normalize so much for women. And support each other. And lift each other up. I’m grateful that you are using your voice for that. It’s really brave and needed in this world we live in.

    1.15.19 · Reply
  132. Sarah said:

    Snaps to you for sharing this personal piece about yourself. I’ve been “medicated” for anxiety for over a decade and I would not be in the place I am today if it wasn’t for that and therapy I received in my darkest of days. It’s just part of me and that’s more than OK!

    1.15.19 · Reply
  133. Wendy said:

    Thank you for sharing this. It is important to note that medication isn’t something to be afraid of, and for some people, it can also take time to begin working and people may need to try different meds that work for them. You don’t even need to qualify to people what kind of dose you take-low or high, as long as you are doing what works.
    It’s worth noting that just because you were afraid of the dark as a child that doesn’t correlate with anxiety as an adult. Anxiety can be due to a chemical imbalance and/or situational factors.

    1.15.19 · Reply
  134. Hey lady – I can SO relate. My journey towards medication, minus the motherhood experience, was almost the same. Taking medication was in a weird way like coming home to myself. It was as if the lights turned on. Despite how good and present it made me feel though, I STILL attempted to get off it twice only because I felt guilty about taking medication. I’ve been back on it for a few months now and have no plans to go off. I still have to work out, practice yoga regularly, and watch my sugar intake, but it’s a huge help to my overall stability. I’m excited to hear you’re feeling so good. Much love. xx

    1.15.19 · Reply
  135. Christine said:

    Absolutely honest, kind, and beautiful post, Julia <3. I can relate to so much of what you have written, as I also battle anxiety (generalized and social), as well as depression. I am really happy that your medication has helped you. I know your post will help so many others who are facing anxiety and other mental illnesses.

    1.15.19 · Reply
  136. Melanie said:

    Thanks for sharing this! I finally made the decision late last year too and hindsight truly is 20/20. Never have felt more at ease at my job and my life on the lowest dose possible. Being a first time mom just underscored my anxiety and forced me to address it head on. Thanks for helping make this less of a stigma! xoxo

    1.15.19 · Reply
  137. Elizabeth Hecker said:

    Thank you for your authenticity and candor. It blows my mind that we are in 2019 and there is still such a stigma associated with mental illness and the treatment of mental illness. I wish you the best and even though I don’t know you personally, woman to woman – I am so proud of you!

    1.15.19 · Reply
  138. KellyM said:

    Thank you so much for sharing this. Everything you said resonated with me. I know I need to go get “help” but I honestly am so sick of trying to find a therapist that is right for me. I truly know I need medication but everyone I go to thinks I can talk my way out of this and I’m frustrated. Reading your story and hearing about your experience, it just really reminded me that I need to get back out and find someone for me. I don’t want to miss out on life or have anxiety when I have children one day and I know my husband needs his wife back. Thank you for being so incredibly honest and for always being honest. Your life isn’t perfect and I think it’s imoortant for us, as your readers, to be reminded of this. No life is perfect and no one is perfect but what we make and do with those imperfections makes life beautiful. Thanks so so much for every word you share and thanks for being so brave.

    1.15.19 · Reply
  139. Leah said:

    I commend you on sharing this Julia! I appreciate your style, decorating, recipes and parenting tips but even more than that I love that you have the courage to talk about hard topics. There is a depth to this blog that makes it so special.

    1.15.19 · Reply
  140. Michelle said:

    I’m with you. I’ve had anxiety as far back as I can remember. Kindergarten. Generalized anxiety and panic attacks. It’s very hard. I went on medicine after my first born as well. I was terrified of anything bad happening to him unless I was with him. So many worries. I am a grandmother now. But anxiety can take away so much joy with the constant worry. Medicine was the best thing I did for myself and my family. Life is too short to not feel your best and feel normal. I’m glad you found the solution for you. There is such a stigma. I didn’t tell people for years. I wish you all the best and that you keep feeling great and enjoy your family and your life.

    1.15.19 · Reply
  141. Ginna Haske said:

    So much love, courage and truth in your post and life! What an incredible mother, wife, friend and entrepreneur you are Julia – totally inspiring. God bless you.

    1.15.19 · Reply
  142. Gina said:

    You’re awesome! Way to be real and take control of your anxiety. You go girl

    1.15.19 · Reply
  143. Holly said:

    Thank you for sharing this! My husband has been battling anxiety for as long as I’ve known him and for a long time I felt ashamed to tell my friends/family. We now talk about it very openly and I know that it’s made a huge difference on his life and how he manages it. Good for you for attempting to change the conversation and being a positive force in the world!

    1.15.19 · Reply
  144. Jessie said:

    I just recently came across your blog and this is the first post I have read. As a mother of a 9 month old boy I can definitely relate to the feelings you describe here, especially the comment “Going outside of the house felt like going to the moon.” Thank you for sharing your story with such honesty – it’s refreshing 🙂

    1.16.19 · Reply
  145. Lauren Carpenter said:

    I think you are so brave and sincere for sharing your journey. Please don’t let anyone make you feel less than for doing what is right for you. Go, girl, go!!

    1.16.19 · Reply
  146. Supporting you all the way on this Julia! It’s so important to destigmatize anxiety and depression. Getting help is the strong thing to do!

    1.16.19 · Reply
  147. Colleen said:

    Thank you for sharing this. I think you’re incredibly brave for doing so, and I admire your courage to try medication as a solution when nothing else worked.

    1.16.19 · Reply
  148. Julia said:

    I’ve been in your shoes, lifelong generalized anxiety, but mine became unmanageable when I went through a divorce. My life circumstances made my anxiety completely consume me and I could barely function at work. I started on Zoloft and within days I was feeling more in control and less panicky and overwhelmed. I stayed on it for 2 years until my life got sorted out post-divorce, then was able to wean off. Somehow, living for 2 years being less affected by anxiety actually helped me gain some better coping skills, and for the last year and a half, I can count how many anxiety attacks I’ve had on one hand. I hope it works as well for you!

    1.16.19 · Reply
  149. Lisa said:

    You are an inspiration . Don’t let the trolls get you down, they are the unhappy people who live to put others down. You are awesome and don’t ever forget it!

    1.18.19 · Reply
  150. Robin Braswell said:

    You are amazing!

    1.18.19 · Reply
  151. Barbara Geiger said:

    I’m so very happy for you and your family! As the spouse of someone who takes medication for anxiety, I can attest to how much better our life is with it. I don’t enjoy roller coasters, and that’s what it’s like without the medication. Smooth sailing for our entire family now, but most importantly, it has been a life changer for my husband. Seeing him stable and happy is priceless. I’m so glad you chose to go this route sooner than later. He waited longer than he should have, tried to go off of it and just live a clean life, but a chemical imbalance cannot be treated by yoga and clean living. It is a medical condition and should be treated as such. Much love to you and your family!

    1.18.19 · Reply
  152. Thank you for your bravery. As a mom and grandmother I wish so many people felt the way you do. If we have a cold we take medicine then why not take something if we feel we need something to balance our life. You tried all the right things and you should hold your head up high for your fierce determination to regain yourself Kuddos

    1.18.19 · Reply
  153. Anne said:

    This nearly made me cry because it was like reading a page out of my own diary. I too went on medication theee years ago for Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – Within 10 days I was back to “myself” but I almost couldn’t celebrate because I couldn’t tell anyone. Anyone I dared to share my struggle with (including my husband) would say “just relax.” And medication? It was as if I was taking an illicit drug. The stigma surrounding mental health is one of the saddest in our society today. I applaud you for using your platform to share your story. You’re a strong woman and mama. P.S. I’m happy to report that in the last 6 months I weaned off the medication (slowly) – it was terrifying and I wasn’t sure it would work. But so far so good and the most comforting thing is knowing that I never have to suffer again, I can always go back to it. XOXO

    1.18.19 · Reply
  154. Wow. Thank you so much for sharing. This is vulnerable and beautiful. My husband has dealt with anxiety and recently began taking medication. I was always against it because I was afraid it would make him feel numb, but I’ve never seen him so happy.

    1.18.19 · Reply
  155. Kate said:

    Talking about mental well being and how we personally tackle it is the only way I believe we will get rid of or minimize stigma. Kudos to you for speaking up and sharing your experience. I’m glad you’re feeling better! I suffer from general depression and anxiety, and was always frustrated when I first started experiencing the symptoms by not knowing why I felt that way. No one in my family discussed it. As an adult, I am medicated and do other things to keep me moving – acupuncture, gym, therapy, etc. People have differing thoughts about meds for mental health, but they would do well to keep their opinions to themselves. It’s the individual’s choice whether or not to be medicated.

    1.18.19 · Reply
  156. Jennifer Composono said:

    I have been medicated for my anxiety for the past year. Looking back, I realize I’ve had this for a long time but I was managing to deal with it without really knowing what it was. That changed when I had my first panic attack last February. I went on to have several more severe ones throughout the next months. What a horrible feeling to think you are dying and that you can’t take care of your kids. I immediately went on medication and feel 90% better now.
    I know though that it was hard to find someone to talk to when you’re not sure who else has gone through the same thing. But now I realize a lot of my friends are on similar medications.

    Don’t worry about the job you are doing with your daughter. At this point, cuddling and reading books with you is really all she needs!! Enjoy that part of it while you can.

    I think it’s so awesome to see a woman who admits that she has to deal with this illness yet continues to be strong and work and take care of her children. I myself have three boys ages 11 to 15 now. Which is perhaps the reason my anxiety got so bad last year !
    I love love love that you talk about it openly . I’m sure there are many of us suffering through this that feel the same way.
    So thank you so bring so open about it. We are never alone!!

    1.18.19 · Reply
  157. Rose said:

    Julia, thank you for sharing! After years of struggling with anxiety, OCD, and depression, I finally decided to give medication a try. I was so worried about the side effects or that it would make everything worse. But after just a short time, I felt SO much better! I wish I had your openness and courage to share something so deeply personal – it’s something we need to do to in order to break the stigma behind mental health.

    1.19.19 · Reply
  158. CG said:

    Thank you for sharing! I’ve been on an SSRI for about eight months. After years of dealing with moderate depression, I finally feel like myself again. I am so happy I took this step; my only regret is not doing it sooner. I am happy that you have found something that works for you! Thankful for modern medicine.

    1.21.19 · Reply
  159. Annie said:

    Amazing! Thank you for sharing! Everyone has their own journey and I’m so happy you found something that works for you and are able to share it with your followers. I’m sure sharing this will help countless other people. Bravo!

    1.22.19 · Reply
  160. SarahC said:

    Thank you for sharing your story! I think you are so right to do what is best for YOU. People love to judge and always have opinions on medication, but if it is making YOU feel better, then it’s the right decision. I take a lot of prescriptions for my migraines and I have a lot of friends who like to tell me I should just try natural remedies or offer up their Tylenol. OTC medications have never worked for me so I do what is best for me.

    Love your blog – keep doing you!!

    1.22.19 · Reply
  161. Lisa said:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    When I first started medication, I thought something was wrong with me. At the time, my anxiety led to depression because I had no idea what was going on or how to fix it, so going on medication just felt like yet another defeat.

    And then I found out I actually knew a lot of people who were on medication or had been at some point in their lives. Had I known that going into it, I would have felt a lot better. Dealing with anxiety and depression is bad enough; feeling like you’re alone and less than because of it only compounds the issue.

    That’s why I think it’s so important to share my experience with otherwise to help normalize medication and the whole conversation surrounding mental illness, and I’m so, so grateful to see you sharing your experiences as well, despite the negativity you have to deal with to do so. The more we all continue to talk about it, the less likely anyone else will ever have to feel alone and like there’s something wrong with them when they go through it for the first time.

    1.25.19 · Reply
  162. Tracy said:

    Good for you – at the end of the day you are doing what is best for you and ultimately, your family. Who cares what the method is? And quite frankly, it’s none of anyone’s business nor is it anyone’s place to approve or disapprove. That said, I’m glad you shared your story, hopefully it will encourage someone out there who needs it.

    1.26.19 · Reply
  163. Krista Scott said:

    I can’t tell you how happy I am for you!! I have severe generalized anxiety disorder and have been medicated for years. After the births of all my three children it would be out of control. I am so thankful that there is medication to help with this or I would not be able to fully function in life as I would live in fear all the time. Thanks so much for sharing I am sure it was not easy. Just know you are not alone, there are so many of us. Best wishes!!

    2.26.19 · Reply
  164. Maureen said:

    About 7 yrs ago I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety. I was put on an SSRi and well it did not work. I had been on a different one a few years prior because of panic attack due a health situation. I was on for about 4 yrs at that time and I was taken off. This time though the medication did not help and I tried to figure out how to help myself. I did acupuncture until last year (I loved it –my acupuncturist retired and I have not found one that I feel comfortable with yet). I did yoga and I went to talk to someone. I still do yoga and talk but I think that medication might be something I have to bring back into my life.
    I have had a few health issues and them family issues have sprung up and the anxiety is high again. I try to keep it under control. It is amazing that even though it is a disease and it is body chemistry people sometimes look upon you differently (at least they do me). I have had a lot on my plate for the last few years and I think with the passing of my father a year and a half ago kind of kicked things into over drive. I have my mother. She though has severe health issues and so do a few other family members. I am the oldest of a large number of siblings and though I am without children (due to the health issue from almost 20 yrs ago) I am almost expected to come to help everyone at the drop of a hat. I understand that others have things going on but as you have stated in some of your postings self care is so important. I am trying to help myself so that I can perhaps help others later.
    Thank you for commenting about this subject. It is not one that is easily spoken.

    3.25.19 · Reply
  165. Louise said:

    Late to the party but wanted to say how awesome it is you chose to share – you are making a HUGE difference by normalizing meds, and are making women and moms feel more free to talk and share!! How ridiculous that meds are still stigmatized. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression and other symptoms for a long time and I can’t imagine what life would be like without medication. It’s hard enough to be alive and to be a mom – anxiety can make life impossible! Thank you again for sharing and here’s to the truth! Xo

    3.29.19 · Reply
    • Julia said:

      Thank you, Louise. That means a lot! So glad you’ve found happiness with medication as well xx

      3.31.19 · Reply
  166. Shannon said:

    Thank you so much for this. I have been a reader of the blog for a long time but then after having my second baby and the craziness of juggling 2 little guys, I hadn’t been reading anything. I finally had the chance to catch up on some of your posts and this one made me cry because it is so familiar and Ive been struggling with what to do to deal with the anxiety that has grown and stuck around post-partum, and for which Ive had such a hard time finding resources (post-partum anxiety seems so much less talked about for some reason). It has given me the confidence to seek out a therapist and be open to medication. Thanks you so much for sharing.

    6.14.19 · Reply
  167. Sharyn said:

    As a mother with a child who also suffers from anxiety. I, too, understand what you are going through. I see how debilitating it can be, especially to the person who is diagnosed with anxiety. I wish you all the best and applaud your candor and willingness to share a very personal and private part of your life. All my best to you and your family.

    6.16.19 · Reply