Hello! Happy summer Monday and the first full day of camp in my house. In a way, this feels like our first real summer with kids because the their daycare is year-round, so Amalia has a true summer break for the first time ever since Kindergarten ended.
You would think that would mean all joy and excitement over here but she 1. is obsessed with school and 2. has a tough time with change of any kind (just like her mama). So although this is usually my favorite season of the year, it’s had a bit of a rocky start. There have been many a big feeling in our house over the last two weeks, but I’m hoping that with a new camp routine, we will all get back on track soon.
On top of that, Luca was sick yet again last week which breaks my heart every time. He’s such a sweet little guy and I hate anything that takes away the ever-present sparkle in his eyes. We can’t wait for him to get his tonsils removed later this summer so that he’s healthier.
I would estimate that, in general, 90% of my own anxieties are wrapped up in my kids’ anxieties, fears, sicknesses, and feelings, so last week felt especially heavy and really hard for me.
Throughout that, I’ve been trying to manage my busiest work season in years (all good stuff, just lots of time needed to dedicate to it) which resulted in me feeling like I was failing hard at everything from motherhood to being a good friend (I had to cancel multiple friend dates) to work all week long. Pair that with a lack of sleep (read: Luca wanted to be held all night) and I felt like the hottest of messes. Big feelings were coming from me as well as the kids.
I saw somewhere on social media recently someone talking about getting into the summer mindset (if you know who it was, let me know so I can credit them) and it got me thinking a lot. I love my job for many reasons but one of them is the flexibility. If my kids need me, I can drop everything and be there for them. If I want to take time off, I don’t have to ask a boss.
But I realized over the weekend that I don’t actually take a lot of time off and when I do, I am so worried about getting behind on work that I can hardly enjoy it. My new goal for the summer is to get into the summer mindset. I want to enjoy time with my kids who will only be little for so long. It’s ok if I miss a few blog posts and take on a few less Instagram campaigns. I know my book will get done and I need to stop being psychotic about getting everything in (literally) months before my deadlines.
Yesterday we took a trip to a local amusement park and had the best time with some of our closest friends. Seeing the joy on Amalia’s face all day (Luca was too young and had a separate adventure with his grandparents) made me feel like a million bucks.
I want to have more days like this with less guilt about what I’m not doing. I want to put my phone and laptop down and enjoy the beautiful life we’ve built. My goal is to really get into the summer mindset and slow everything down.