Another update from the ‘burbs

Suburbs

It’s hard to believe that we left Manhattan over 6 months ago. For half of a year, we’ve been living in the suburbs and it still feels so alien to me. Since my last update, our new life has started to become a reality in a deeper way for better or for worse.

I think the long, hard, cold winter didn’t help my case, but I’ve been feeling a pretty intense amount of loneliness over the past few months. I watch my friends on Instagram going out to dinners and drinks in the city and I am sitting at home alone waiting for my husband to come home. Granted, now that it’s starting to warm up I’m doing more after-work activities, but a lot of those are done alone as well.

Creating a group of friends has been a challenge. While I definitely have a few friends in Connecticut and that number is growing (slowly), I don’t want to be the weirdo who is always asking to hang out in an annoying way so I try to keep it to once a month with each of them. I’m not close enough to anyone yet where I can just show up out of the blue. Everyone says when we have kids that will change because I’ll become close to other moms.

Because of the fact that I’m lonely and don’t have too many people to spend time with, I’ve found myself throwing myself into work whether it’s for Nourish or my blog. I spend way too much time on my computer and look forward to getting outside more this summer. When I don’t do this, a pretty intense feeling of loneliness and regret washes over me which is something that I never want to feel.

The one person that I spend a whole lot of time with is my husband, Anel. He works a lot during the week so he wants to spend most weekends relaxing at home where I would rather be out and about whenever possible. I think the isolation has definitely put a strain on our marriage but I realized in the last month or two that going into the city to meet up with friends or my sister on Saturdays is a great solution for me. He can be home and happy and I get my fix of girl giggles.

Even though there is a gym in my building, I’ve also been working out less which is weird. Now that the sun is shining, I’ve been more motivated for sure, but not being able to walk 2 blocks to Soul Cycle has put a real damper on my work out routine. I’m hoping to get a beach pass soon so that I can run outside on the water and enjoy the beauty around me.

Despite how hard it’s been on me in the last few months, I know that this decision was right for our health and longterm happiness as well as the well-being of our future family. I cannot imagine raising children in New York City and the thought of that reminds me that we’re in the right place and it will get easier the longer we live here.

I’m so excited for the summer because we travel a lot in those months and because there are a lot of outside activities in our area that we want to do: hiking, swimming, beach trips, picnics, antiquating, and exploring. I’ll give you an update at the end of summer but I expect that things are on the upswing!

Comments

  1. Carly said:

    GIRL! G and I are coming for our tour. Texted Meg about it yesterday 😉

    3.31.15 · Reply
  2. CT Cupcake said:

    Not sure what town you live in, but join the Junior League or another volunteer organization-great way to meet people! Westport is adorable, I love strolling main street whenever I come home to visit my parents.

    3.31.15 · Reply
  3. Marissa said:

    I am around to hang out anytime, girlfriend! And that includes week days too 🙂

    3.31.15 · Reply
  4. Kelly said:

    At least you know a couple of people, we are moving in a month to to CT and I know absolutely no one!! I can totally relate to your husband wanting to be home on weekends and you wanting to be out and active. I struggle with the same thing. I still know it’s the right move for my family. I have a three year old daughter and can’t wait to get her out of the city!

    3.31.15 · Reply
  5. Celsea J. said:

    Wow, I can relate to this 100%, especially the friends part and the husband working part. I’m working from home and can’t wait to get out on the weekends! <3 you boo, thanks for sharing!

    3.31.15 · Reply
  6. Mackenzie Horan said:

    I totally remember feeling like this when I lived at home for a year after college. I also worry about NYC fomo when we move to Dallas. You are so NOT alone! You’re doing what’s right for you and this too shall pass.

    A few favorite activities as it warms up: going for a run in Cove Park (it will remind you why you moved to CT), eating lunch then renting kayaks in Rowayton (ditto), going for a hike in Woodland Park (bonus points if you can borrow a friend’s dog for the day!), eating lunch outside on Greenwich Avenue, playing mini golf on the sound in Norwalk… I could go on but I’ll spare you! Hang in there love! xoxo

    3.31.15 · Reply
  7. Katherine Berger said:

    I feel like I just read a blog post about myself. Only difference is that I’ve been in CT for 2 years. The winters are definitely the worst, and the number one thing I miss is happy hour followed by dinner (in the city). There is something about the energy of the city that you just can’t find here in CT. I commend you on seeking out new friends, for me it’s been very difficult to reach out like that…without feeling like a psycho stalker!

    You can only go up from here, there are so many fun summer activities in CT! You are right, you are definitely on the upswing 🙂

    3.31.15 · Reply
  8. I feel 100% the same way and we’ve lived in NJ for a little over a year. I have one good friend who lives close by, but other than that there’s no one in the area who I can just pop in on whenever and I miss just rambling around the city too.

    3.31.15 · Reply
  9. Katie Tut said:

    I will go for a walk/run with you in the park every day that you’re in NOLA.

    3.31.15 · Reply
  10. edb02a said:

    I moved from Austin to a smaller west TX city. It’s been 4 years and I still don’t have close friends. Many acquaintances here and there, but it seems like the people I’d like to be friends with either are homebodies or don’t reciprocate the friendship. I got so discouraged that I just stopped. Now I have tried focusing on my friendships with older friends in Austin & DFW and I travel to see them whenever possible. Glad to know I’m not the only lonely one!

    3.31.15 · Reply
  11. Jen said:

    Moving can be really hard even if it’s just an hour or so out of the city. I know that you’ll feel so much better when it’s nicer out!

    xo, Jen

    3.31.15 · Reply
  12. Lauren said:

    http://alwaysyoungneverbored.blogspot.com

    Cuddle the ones you love and hug them extra tight tonight because you never know when something will be taken from you. This is one thing I have learned in the last couple of years. Appreciate people, be the positivity in peoples lives, and always remember how blessed you are for your health.

    3.31.15 · Reply
  13. Andrea Tepfer said:

    Thank you for being so open and transparent! Things are on the up swing for sure, you’re going to start LOVING it all very soon!

    4.1.15 · Reply
  14. Allison said:

    I live in downtown Stamford too… I’m going out with a couple of my girlfriends Thursday for happy hour, the weather is suppose to be a little warmer! You are more than welcome to join us! I’ve been in a downer mood also recently and I think it’s because of this weather! I just got back from vacation a few weeks ago and I thought winter would be over. Check out Tods Point in Greenwich, there are so many trails for running on the beach! Reach out if you want to meet up! allisonbartkus@gmail.com 🙂 I hope dress weather gets here soon!

    4.1.15 · Reply
  15. Caroline said:

    Hi!

    I actually live in Westchester but thought I’d pass this gem of recommendation along that I got from a girl in my barre class. Diamond Nails behind the CVS on Greenwich Ave is great! They’re really nice and cheap ($10 manicure any day, and there’s a mani pedi special Mon-Wed for $25 I think but don’t quote me on that) I literally go every weekend and love them! They have a special during the week on gel too!

    4.3.15 · Reply
    • Virginia Wilmarth said:

      This is amazing. Thank you!

      4.6.15 · Reply
  16. Virginia Wilmarth said:

    I live in Redding but am in Stamford for work and hanging out with girlfriends regularly. Would love to have you join next time if you’re interested! We are all CT/NYC transplants, I moved to CT 3.5 years ago and still lament how it’s not easy making new friends and introducing yourself to new people. Reach out to me if you’re interested – virginia.wilmarth@gmail.com

    Love your blog, keep your chin up! CT is a very fun place to be in the summer 🙂

    4.6.15 · Reply
  17. Kayleigh said:

    I definitely understand how you are feeling as I am a transplant to Stamford myself, and I recently got out of a long distance relationship. It is so hard to make friends once you’re an adult, and I never had problems before! It’s been a lonely winter but the summers around here are wonderful. We should try to do a happy hour for Stamford girls once it gets nicer out! Feel free to reach out!

    4.16.15 · Reply
  18. Sifer said:

    I like the blog

    http://1av.cc

    6.29.15 · Reply
  19. Kim said:

    Such a great blogpost! It’s refreshing to read something so real and honest. I can definitely relate: I moved to a different country 6 months back and without people around it can sure be lonely sometimes. Best to work as much as you can! Hope summer gives you enough distractions!

    7.27.15 · Reply