Self Love Resolution


Photos by Kate McElwee

New Years resolutions are kind of dumb, right? They’re exciting for a few weeks or even a few months if you’re really dedicated, but by July or August, are you really still drinking less, working out 5 times/week, or seeing your friends more often? Most likely, not.

With that being said, I still made a resolution this year because I, like most of you, love the feeling of a fresh start and a new year with a clean slate. I’m going to share this super personal promise to myself with you in hopes that you don’t pass judgement and that this resonates with some of you as well.

First let’s start with some background. I’ve always been somewhat of a hater. . . on myself. As a kid and teenager, I constantly put myself down, comparing myself to thinner, prettier, smaller-nosed girls in my class. That carried on through college and even to my adult life in other ways.

Of course I still compare my looks to other super chic NYC women and even my blogger counterparts. I put photos of myself on the effing internet every week (a weird concept if you think about it) so it’s hard not to! But what really gets me worked up now is how I can beat myself up over a decision I make at work, how I’m running my business, or what’s going on in my married life.

Instead of taking it easy on myself and letting things go, I harp on mistakes I make for hours which all adds up and affects my sleep, sanity, and general health. My resolution is to catch myself doing this, and try to put an end to it through deep breathing exercises, meditation, or journaling.

I also plan to take great care to make sure that what I put on or in (not like that, you perv!) my body is healthy and up-lifting. Sometimes I need to drink green juice and wear yoga pants all day and sometimes I crave a fancy outfit and a glass of wine. Listening to what my body wants and respecting that want without feeling guilt is important for this healing process.

So far this has all been incredibly difficult, but I’ll keep you posted if anything changes.

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  1. Dana said:

    I tend to do the same thing, and this is such an awesome reminder to just let the little things go! Have a great day!

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  2. I think all of us ladies should make this resolution this year. Bravo!

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  3. I think we all do this, especially in this blogging world it’s easy to compare ourself to every other blogger. I think the most important is to be the best version of yourself. Everybody is unique, so let’s celebrate our individuality!

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  4. Beth Wittig said:

    Love this Julia. How we approach our lives will give us much more sustainability than changing the external markers of success.

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    • I love the way that you put this. You have a way with words!

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  5. Evaleri said:

    Wow! I believe any of us struggle with this. Thanks for reminding us of the importance of getting back to basics.

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  6. Mackenzie said:

    Love that you’re putting this out there…I couldn’t agree more. I think more people do this than we think (I know I certainly do), and for me it really affects my sleep and routine during the day! I’m working on it too, not just as a new year’s resolution but also as a way to better myself 🙂

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  7. Adam Zickerman said:

    You’re a beautiful woman Julia, inside and out!!! Love your honesty.

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  8. Jessica Osgood said:

    This is amazing. Would love to know more about the methods you are using and any tips if someone else was to try to do this.

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    • The first important step is just noticing that you do it. Then every time that you notice it, try to turn it around somehow. For example: If I notice myself comparing my body to someone else’s, I’ll say to myself “but I love the way my whole face lights up when I laugh”. Positive reinforcement like that can go a LONG way!

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  9. Holly + Casey said:

    Amazing so glad you blogged about it because I think a lot of bloggers (a lot of women as well) feel this way but never want to actually admit it. Great resolution, thanks for sharing!

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  10. JessicaMarieHealth said:

    I totally feel you Julia! Thank you for sharing. I can relate to the negative self-talk. Let’s squash it! Cheers to self-LOVE in 2014!!

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  11. Mol C. Nichols said:

    Amen. I will definitely follow in your footsteps with this.

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  12. staci said:

    Totally feel you, I put so much pressure on myself its crazy. I need to de-stress a bit!

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  13. Bekah said:

    Julia, you and your vulnerability is beautiful. Thank you for sharing this very personal struggle. So many of us women struggle with self love but say little about it, so it’s very brave of you to talk about it. Please continue to share how you are learning to love yourself and ways in which you find your own personal beauty (looks, habits, passions, etc.).

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  14. I like your resolution, lady! There’s beauty in being able to be the girl who is confident in her own skin and owning who she is in any outfit and any state of mind.

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    • So true! Confidence is beautiful…. just not over-confidence 🙂

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  15. Katie Tut said:

    Good one! I gotta tell you, it’s a lot easier to self-love on looks when you live in the south.

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  16. stephie said:

    I love this post and you!

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  17. Christine Estler Higgins said:

    My favorite posts are when you are honest and open about personal struggles because I can always relate. Thanks for sharing such a positive message.

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    • They’re definitely my favorite too but for sure the hardest ones to write. I never know who is going to read it, and that is scary!

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  18. Shira said:

    I absolutely love this post and it makes me appreciate your blog even more. I’m really critical of myself too and I’m also working on being kinder to myself.

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  19. Rose said:

    THANK YOU for being so real with this post!! Best of luck to you, and remember you’re a beautiful, confident woman 🙂

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  20. stylecusp said:

    I could agree with this more, J! I have been making a point to listen to my body more – sleep when i need more sleep, wear whatever the heck i want and not do blog photos on a blah day, eat what i want if i need it (within reason).. you name it. You can totally do it + I promise it makes you feel 100 times better !! xo

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    • I love the “don’t do photos on a blah day”. Going to add that one to my list! That is the WORST!

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      • stylecusp said:

        Half the time I end up hating the photos, my outfit, my hair – you name it! and it was a waste of energy anyways. So I just get creative and post something else 🙂

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  21. RCSOATL said:

    love this! self love has been my mantra for a few years now and it’s worked wonders! especially helpful when you have your own business & you’re busy trying to do it all.

    take care of yourself first 🙂

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