The Pressure of Perfection

I officially wore a coat this weekend. Ok it was a vest, but whatever. It feels like fall. I’m kind of struggling with outfits because my hips are still way too big to fit into most of my jeans and it’s getting too cold for dresses. I’m pretty sick of my lululemon leggings, so I needed some inspo stat. I started looking at some posts from last fall, which is making me want to do my bi-yearly clothing swap this week, but it feels too soon!

As I was putting together this post, I planned to write more about my clothing swap and fall outfits, but something has been on my mind lately and I wanted to talk about it. So while I hope you enjoy the many fall outfits pictured below, I hope that writing out my thoughts on the pressure of perfection not only makes me feel better, but resonates with some of you as well.

Lately I’ve been seeing all of the bloggers I follow doing some amazing things like cool video content and a ton of creative new content. While they’re seemingly out there creating incredible content and traveling to beautiful places, I feel like I’m struggling to get up regular old posts let alone stay awake all day and get the laundry done. ย I felt that way throughout my pregnancy and even more so now that I have a baby.

It feels like I’ve spent the last whole year just trying to stay afloat and I’m falling behind. It’s been a constant struggle to focus on both my health (and now baby) and creating beautiful content. I see other bloggers have babies and then slide right back into their outfit posts, looking as cute as ever and I have no idea how they do it… full time nannies maybe? Or is it that I just don’t have what it takes?

I’m guessing that I’m not the first new mother who compares herself to her peers and wonders how everyone else seems to have it all figured out, while she is trying to hold it all together. There is a pressure to be perfect as a mother, in your career, as a wife, and as a woman. I think that as a blogger this is amplified 100x because everyone expects me to have a Pinterest-perfect life… But I don’t!

Right now my life is a lot of being at home and trying to figure out this whole motherhood thing, covered in spit up, poop, or both. There is just no possible way that it is ever going to look the way that it used to, but after a weekend spent with friends, not worrying about my Instagram or taking new outfit photos for today’s blog post, I finally realized that that’s ok. I can share my experiences with you as they are now, even if they aren’t always pretty.

I’m hoping they’ll be relatable and sometimes even helpful.

I’m going to spend some time this week thinking about how I want my content to look going forward. I’ve been trying to not focus too too much on motherhood posts because I was so worried that you guys wouldn’t be into it, but the reality is that my entire life is being a mom right now… I’m not sure how long that period lasts but I’m guessing at least until I’m done breastfeeding and I’m not physically attached to my baby all day long.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you guys what you want to see more or less of. When I first got pregnant, I did a survey, and while most of you wanted more content about that, there was a big group who wasn’t into it. Let me know if you have any posts that you want to see, topics you want me to cover, or stuff you want me to skip. It will help me gather my thoughts for what Lemon Stripes is going to look like in the coming months.

Similar Sweater / Jeans / Bag

Cape / Sweater (on sale for $19)

Blazer / Backpack / Similar Skirt

Similar Vest / Bag c/o / Sweater

Sweater (on sale for $19) / Bag / Jeans / Scarf (on sale)

Scarf / Jeans

Barbour Coat / Similar Plaid Shirt

Similar Plaid Shirt / Clutch / Leopard Pumps

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Comments

  1. Katey McFarlan said:

    Hi Julia!

    Oh goodness, I felt this EXACT same way and I still do. Especially with FW! Maxi is 7 months and I still feel like, “How does everyone else travel, take care of their baby and run a business?” I’ve learned there is a lot you don’t see! There are nannies and personal assistants [sometimes multiple assistants] and lack of sleep. I don’t think either way is wrong or right! I kind of just go off of how I want to look back on my life in 20 years. I LOVE blogging and I LOVE that it has been my career, but I also love that I’ve worked hard and can/deserve to slow down. I skip posts during the week, I miss e-mail responses and I hardly go to events. When e-mailing brands why I wasn’t going to FW I nearly said,”Because I have a baby, that’s why.” haha! But all to say, in 20 years I want to know I didn’t put pressure on myself and only bonded with Maxi. So I’m no perfect blogger and don’t have a perfect website. I don’t have travel content right now and I don’t have my life together ever. But I feel happy and loved and obsessed with my daughter. I know other bloggers feel the same and their way to do that may be assistants or taking time to travel for themselves. I just have to go off what makes me feel that way, and it’s less pressure on myself. You’re doing an incredible job and truly haven’t missed a beat!

    xo,

    Katey

    9.11.17 · Reply
  2. Kamana@SocialandStyle said:

    As a new mother (my little guy is almost three weeks old!), I can very much relate. Itโ€™s not easy trying to create meaningful content, especially when your time and energy is focused on your baby first. While feeding, I often find myself scrolling through Instastories โ€“ which can add to the feeling that you are not doing enough. Thankfully, Iโ€™m focusing on being more present with my little one and enjoying this precious time. Personally, I love the content you are creating. Keep doing what you love!

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      Congrats on your little man! I do the EXACT same thing while nursing Amalia. Maybe we should give up Instagram for a few weeks ๐Ÿ™‚

      9.11.17 · Reply
  3. Lisa B said:

    I personally love the motherhood posts and would love to see more!

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      Thanks Lisa!

      9.11.17 · Reply
  4. Lindsay said:

    Just wanted to chime in and encourage you to keep doing exactly what you are doing. I find your honesty and candidness refreshing. You feel more like a real-life friend than those bloggers who portray a perfect life at all times. I’ve honestly stopped following the blogs of so many of them because it all seems sponsored and one-dimensional. Keep having real conversations with your readers! You may temporarily lose some followers who can’t relate, but I have a feeling many more new readers will find you and appreciate your unique voice (I started following you when I found out I was pregnant and you were too).

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      Thank you so much for saying that, Lindsay. That makes me so happy to hear!!

      9.11.17 · Reply
  5. Katherine said:

    Honestly, I am not a mother but I love reading about life posts, including all the motherhood and baby posts. I think that is the most authentic since that is what you are going through. I love all the fashion but its okay to take a break if that isn’t working right now. Truly I think you’ve done a great job of balance things thus far. I know from my sister/friends how hard it is to all of a sudden add a baby into the mix and you’re figuring out how that will affect the rest of your life. It’s a big change, so try not to put pressure on your self to be perfect.

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      That makes me so happy! I always wonder if the non-moms care at all about what I’m writing, but good to know that you do!

      9.11.17 · Reply
      • Carly said:

        We do! I agree with Katherine. Not a mom, but your posts are relatable because it’s just life stuff And we’re interested in hearing your perspective. We may not relate to 100% of every post, but we can all relate to bits and pieces. Using this post as an example, we ALL feel pressure to be “perfect” at times, whether it’s in parenting or not. Just keep being yourself. Don’t worry about things being too polished. It’s almost better if it’s not!

        9.11.17 · Reply
    • Tersey Regan said:

      I completely agree with Katherine! I am a recently married 28-year-old and have been reading your blog for years and while I am not on the baby path yet, I still love reading about your journey…the good, the bad and the ugly! I truly find all your content very interesting and easy to relate to (even though I’m not necessarily at the same state of life as you are with a child, etc.) and think you are doing a fantastic job! I was so shocked and impressed about how much content you posted immediately after giving birth so please, give yourself a break!! You are doing great and have so many followers that like me, will continue to enjoy whatever you post!

      9.11.17 · Reply
  6. Brittany said:

    Hi Julia! I’ve always loved your openness and honesty. As your life changes (I.e. you become a mother), I think it’s perfectly reasonable that your content will evolve a bit too. As a new mom to a one-month-old son, I personally love the motherhood posts – and would love to see content on nursing friendly clothing! – but whether it’s motherhood, career, or personal posts, it’s those discussions about real life triumphs and challenges that have always resonated most with me. Whatever you decide, I look forward to continuing to read Lemon Stripes in the future ๐Ÿ™‚

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      Congrats on your new son, Brittany! A lot of people are asking for a nursing clothes post so will be doing that soon. Stay tuned!

      9.11.17 · Reply
  7. Mary E. said:

    Hi Julia,

    I would love to read more “real life” posts rather than aspirational fashion content. As a mom with young kids, I honestly find the mom bloggers who seemingly bounce right back to their previous lives demoralizing. I’m definitely not the same person I had before kids and neither is anyone. Please continue to share your authentic feelings and how life is going with baby.

    Mary E.

    PS A day in the life post would be great!

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      Good to know, thanks Mary! So many people are asking me for day in the life posts… but my days aren’t all that exciting ๐Ÿ™‚ I might do it anyway though just for fun!

      9.11.17 · Reply
  8. Lauren said:

    Nutrition, meal prep, healthy snacks, exploring food trends (like the gluten free/brown rice inquiry from your IG Live last week!). But mostly do you and any posts that come to your head or your heart!

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      Thanks Lauren! So helpful.

      9.11.17 · Reply
      • Joanna said:

        That was actually my question for the live Q&A last week…and guess what, I totally missed the answer because I was hopping on and off of instagram while chasing my two kids around, haha! Talk about not being able to do keep it together! Any chance either of you could summarize the answer? Also, Julia, you’re still such a tough phase of Amalia’s babyhood….it’ll feel more settled over the coming months and you’ll be able to slowly get yourself to where you want. Try not to overthink it, though easier said than done. i think you’re doing great, and as for content, I’m currently interested in clothing, decor, and health/food. Thanks!

        9.11.17 · Reply
  9. Christine said:

    As a FTM to be I love all your mom content, but by no means feel like I’m reading a mommy blog. I’ve read you blog for a couple of years and I feel like over the past year I’ve become so much more invested because you have really increased the amount of sharing about your real life. Watching you and your family grow and change is fun and meaningful. The life events you are going through resonate with me bc my husband and I seem to be on a similar timeline as you and Anel currently (5 years of marriage, home owners for 2 years, first baby on the way) I agree with another reader that I’d love to see a day in the life post, also maybe an updated what I eat in a day (once you settle into a routine with which you are comfortable).

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      That’s so great to hear, thanks Christine! And congrats on your baby on the way. So exciting!

      9.11.17 · Reply
  10. Virginia Merati said:

    I hope this doesn’t come off the wrong way, but I just wanted to chime in to add a component that I don’t think has been shared yet. I understand what you’re saying about your career choice adding to this pressure you feel to be perfect, but I want to point out that I feel like a lot of that pressure you’re feeling is self-imposed. You spend a lot of time talking about how difficult/hard/stressful things are, whether it be your infertility, pregnancy, post-partum recovery or just daily life, and I think it’s increasingly difficult to relate to. Above, you talked above about how you think not having a full-time nanny is impacting your ability to shoot outfits, but many cannot even fathom hiring a doula/night nurse, let alone two like you had. Financially, many feel the pressure to go back to a structured, full-time job immediately after birth while you received a $1200 high-tech sleep assistant c/o, along with almost your entire nursery and have the flexibility to work from home whenever and wherever you want. Even having your mom and husband at with you at home during your first few weeks post-partum so you can do things like recover and even go out for a manicure and date night is such a luxury. Above all, as someone who is still struggling to get pregnant, I would feel so happy just have a baby, regardless of how it impacted my ability to shoot outfits, wear jeans or write blog posts. So I think what would make you feel a lot better is focusing on how lucky you are to have all that you have, rather than what you feel you don’t have or can’t do.

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Steph Porter said:

      Hi Virginia, I can understand where you are coming from. It can be so hard, when you are trying to conceive, to see someone who on the outside appears to “have it all” talking about their struggles. But the truth is, the struggle is real, no matter what your income level or personal situation is.

      I struggled to conceive, and when I finally did, I felt like once I had that baby in my arms all was right with the world. However, the opposite happened. The pressure to breast feed and be a “perfect mom” completely overshadowed the tiny miracle that was in my arms. I have always delt with anxiety, but I suffered from debilitating post postpartum anxiety.

      I felt so incredible guilty struggling. I knew I was one of the “lucky ones” with an overly supportive husband and family, lovely house and home, and was able to provide this baby with what they needed. But in reality, this little baby needed an emotionally stable mom.

      Julia, I applaud you for being “real” with us, all the time. Keep doing what you are doing.

      Virginia, I am in no way trying to attack you- my pre-baby self would have probably felt the same way. I wish you the best and hope you have a bundle of joy in your arms soon. However, please remember that you never know what someone is going through “behind the scenes.”

      9.11.17 · Reply
    • Kellie | The Book Hive Blog said:

      I agree with Steph and Virginia I do understand where you’re coming from. There are a lot of struggles though that many women have and I think Julia is coming from a place of being honest versus I’m so lucky, life is great.

      At the end of the day the fertility/motherhood journey is a difficult one and while it’s harder for some (I am truly sorry for what you’re going through) being quiet about it because it could be worse is not helpful. If she was blissful and nothing was ever wrong I think we’d criticize her for not being truthful.

      9.11.17 · Reply
      • Steph Porter said:

        Absolutely Kellie. One thing that mom’s these days are always struggling with is “damned if you do, damned if you don’t.” We are constantly getting mixed messages from society.

        Breast is best! (But don’t do it in public).
        Co-sleep for a year (But don’t complain if you are tired).

        The list goes on…

        9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      Hi Virginia. I understand what you’re saying, and I’m sad to hear that I come off that way! I’m trying to be real and share what feelings I have as a new mom. I’m so so grateful for Amalia (and tell her every day!) but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t hard. And I think that’s ok! In fact you just inspired me to write a full post about that.

      You are right that I”m incredibly lucky in my situation and for that I’m grateful as well. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling to get pregnant and I’d never wish that upon anyone. When I was struggling, I felt the same way but until I had the baby, I couldn’t ever have understood how hard it would be. Again, I think it’s ok to be grateful and to struggle with how difficult it is.

      Wishing you the best of luck in your journey!

      9.11.17 · Reply
  11. Ashley said:

    Oh Julia I am right there with you. This weekend I went to the Wanderlust yoga event and while I was there I loved it but, when I got home and saw the content other people took there, I felt like others did a better job getting content, videos and images. I saw the pictures of myself and immediately felt a pit inside. It is so hard to balance everything but you know what, it’s most important that our children are healthy and happy and thriving. You’re doing a great job!

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      Isn’t that so frustrating? It’s like what am I doing wrong that they can capture this in such an amazing way? But know that people follow you for YOU and your kids appreciate you giving them the extra time ๐Ÿ™‚

      9.11.17 · Reply
  12. Kellie | The Book Hive Blog said:

    The transition to motherhood is a hard one (at least it was for me) & I struggled A LOT with trying to find a new rhythm. I did again after my second (part of why I quit my own blog) but I think those first few months are really, really hard.

    It can seem like you’re the only one who doesn’t have it together, but I think we just don’t see the behind the scenes chaos. I mean, having a baby isn’t seamless no matter what so something must give!

    It took me really figuring out a system to balance out work and motherhood, which you need to give yourself time to find that new rhythm. Not to say I have it all together at all- I just feel functional and kind of as good as it’s going to get. It took me awhile to get here and I struggled a lot going back to work, so you’re not alone and it does get easier!

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      You’re so right, Kellie. People just don’t show the “behind the scenes” stuff of babies not sleeping or being puked on. I need to find my rhythm like you said, but I think it might just take a little while.

      9.11.17 · Reply
  13. Tori said:

    Love love all these fall outfits. Love your honesty….give yourself grace! No one can do it all and anyone who looks like they are is failing/struggling/missing out on some aspect of their life whether its apparent or not. I love your motherhood posts even though I’m not a mom. I also enjoy cooking and food posts.

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      YES! I totally agree that anyone who looks perfectly together post-baby must be struggling somewhere. It’s just not possible to do it all and look 100% while doing it… at least at the beginning anyway.

      9.11.17 · Reply
  14. Joanna Platt said:

    I love this post so much. The gorgeous photos of fall clothes are a treat, a bonus. I relate to what you’re saying about perfection. I’ve really enjoyed your motherhood posts and other posts where I get to know you. I think I even started following you right around the time you announced you were pregnant after another blogger linked to your announcement. I mostly read blogs because I like to see what other people are up to and your posts where you share honestly what’s going on are my favorites. Be you. I’m sure I speak for a lot of your readers when I say we’re cheering you on!

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      Thanks Joanna! I so appreciate that. Thanks for following along too ๐Ÿ™‚

      9.11.17 · Reply
  15. Sandy Mahler said:

    Hi Julia,
    I would love to see posts more about your life! Like a what you do in a day, or whats all in my purse post, I also love your food and healthy eating posts. I do love the fashion posts, but really some of the Life posts are excellent as well. ๐Ÿ™‚ Honestly, keep your chin up and don’t be too hard on yourself. You are doing a great job.

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      Haha my day is usually not that exciting but the purse post is a great idea! I’ll do that thank you. And will create some more food/healthy living stuff as well. xx

      9.11.17 · Reply
  16. dcl said:

    As a new Mom myself, who has returned to work outside the home and needs to dress up every day and get baby out the door to child care at a certain time, I relate to how tough it can be to keep everything together. But I like the honesty! This season of life is hard! It is so much more relate-able for me to hear about how things are not picture perfect, because I see myself in that a lot more than a well styled date night outfit. But that is ok! I think you are way too hard on yourself – from what you have said, you have a sweet baby, a supportive partner, tons of family and paid caregiving help, etc. At this moment in time, sometimes it is just about getting through the day. I think it is ok to recognize that and lighten your mental load a bit.

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      I’m so impressed by moms like you who work outside the home from the beginning. I give you props for having the energy to do it and do it well! And you’re totally right… Like many new moms I’m wayyyy too hard on myself.

      PS I wish I had paid caregiving help… we will start day care next year but for now it’s just us ๐Ÿ™‚ We had a baby nurse at the beginning but not anymore!

      9.11.17 · Reply
  17. Andrea said:

    Oh man. Don’t sweat it for a second. Enjoy your baby and this time because its goes SO fast. (So cliche but so true) Don’t spend a moment of it worrying about pleasing others. You do you. You’re doing a great job and I love your blog, both before and after.

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      Thanks Andrea! I’m going to certainly try!!

      9.11.17 · Reply
  18. Julia said:

    Being a new mom as well, I really like your posts about motherhood, labor, baby gear, etc. It’s really hard to think about much else with a newborn, and I’m the first in a couple of friend groups to have a baby so it’s hard to relate to a lot of people. Don’t worry about not being “perfect” – you never know if a blogger looking cute with a newborn was struggling with post partum back pain or anxiety when the picture was taken. It sounds like your focus is on being the best mom you can be ๐Ÿ™‚

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      Thanks Julia! And good point about not knowing what’s going on behind the camera. I know too well that often the smiles are fake when it’s a tough day…

      9.11.17 · Reply
  19. Amy said:

    I think it’s all about perspective. Ironically, to all of us, it looks like YOU totally have it together and WE are all falling behind! I have three little ones and it has taken me this long to really cut myself a break, but I definitely wish I would have done it earlier.

    I love your fashion posts (even if you wouldn’t be modeling the clothes and it would be more inspirational), and healthy habits and lifestyle posts.

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Julia Dzafic said:

      First of all, you’re my super hero for having three kids. I don’t know how you do it! So so impressed and I don’t even know you ๐Ÿ™‚ Second of all thank you so much for the advice and for your thoughts!

      9.11.17 · Reply
  20. Katie Hilferty said:

    Girl, I get you, and this post could not have been more timely. I am a full time attorney (married to a full time attorney) with a one year old. I constantly feel like I am not living up to my expectations at work, home, or in my relationship. It is HARD trying to juggle your career goals, being a mom who is present and involved, and still making time for your significant other. Not to mention self-care, which usually is the first thing to go. Also we are trying to have another baby and it’s even hard to find time to fit that in! I just wanted to say that, while I still struggle to find balance, it’s an ongoing effort that I have to work at every day and it’s nice to know that I’m not alone in this. Also, I have been seriously impressed with how quickly you returned to regular posts and how well you are doing with your little one (I have some friends who had babies recently and I shared info from your blog about dream feeding). Just know that if you need to take longer than a week break, it’s okay! You really haven’t had much of a maternity leave. It’s not easy being a working mama but we’re in this together ๐Ÿ™‚

    9.11.17 · Reply
  21. Bailee Barfield said:

    Hi! I love your blog, and as a non-mother cannot imagine how tough anyone’s situation is raising a newborn, especially given the amount of scrutiny and judgment we place on other women without putting ourselves in their shoes. Just overhearing coworkers and girlfriends talk about other moms makes me realize – we are MEAN to each other sometimes, and I’m sure any mom out there has her own bevy of stories about nonsense she’s had to deal with just to keep up appearances.

    I am starting to see friends in my circle try to get pregnant, are currently pregnant, etc. and would love some tips on how us non-moms can be supportive without being overreaching or inadvertently offensive from lack of understanding about what a new mom goes through. I myself do not have children and still go back and forth about whether I want children, but I want to be supportive and loving to my friends who do have kids and break down these barriers we seem to put up between moms and non-moms. Thanks!

    9.11.17 · Reply
    • Justina Kenyon said:

      I second this!

      9.11.17 · Reply
  22. Justina Kenyon said:

    I have been enjoying your content more and more lately. I have been moving away from strictly fashion based blogs for a little while now, because what I really want to read is about peoples’ lives and opinions and lived experiences, and I feel that your content embodies what I have been looking for.

    9.11.17 · Reply
  23. Wendy said:

    I think a great deal of the pressure you’re feeling applies whether one is a mom or not. There is always going to be someone who has more than you, and it’s difficult not to compare oneself. I find that difficult to stomach sometimes just reading blogs, when there is so much free stuff sent to bloggers. I feel pressure to bust out new ALL THE FALL clothes. In reality, I can’t do that, my career in higher education, while incredibly fulfilling, doesn’t allow for buying all the new J.Crew arrivals and the only free stuff I get is the occasional pizza lunch. The thing is- the very nature of blogging to present this beautiful front. Your pictures above illustrate that. I don’t even have kids and between work, social commitments, and Junior League, i’m not half as put together. As for content, it’s your blog, so you do you. As a child free by choice person, I don’t personally go in for a ton of content about mothering but again, not my blog. It would be refreshing to see the real life mom stuff-the dark circles, the anxiety, the hopes and dreams for the future etc. because we can all relate to that, mom or not.

    9.11.17 · Reply
  24. Sara Vosler said:

    Your blog is one of my favorites for many reasons. You look very New England and different from the other bloggers I follow. You post on real life things and your baby is adorable. The bloggers that I follow that just attended New York fashion week are not relatable to me. I live in the Midwest and nobody dresses like that routinely. If I bought a $5000 handbag, nobody would even know what it was. I think you should keep posting anything that makes you happy. One of my other favorite bloggers just had a baby and posts about her all the time. It doesn’t bother me (even though I am out of that phase) as that is her life. PS- thank you for the tips on Martha’s Vineyard. It is now one of my favorite places on earth.

    9.11.17 · Reply
  25. Kaitlin said:

    Look up “fourth trimester.” The first 3 or so months with a new baby are really intense, and it’s normal to feel like that’s all you can focus on. That’s part of the reason maternity leave is so important. I understand why, as a self-employed blogger, you did not take much of a break, but hopefully that helps manage your expectations of yourself a bit. I really didn’t feel like a normal person until my baby was almost 4 months old. I will say that she’s 8 months now and I do finally feel like I can have a life/job that doesn’t revolve around the baby. Still breastfeeding, too, but that got much less time consuming by 5-6 months, and I feel like I have some freedom now.
    Anyway, as a new mom I have enjoyed your motherhood posts, and I appreciate your candor. At this point I have a hard time relating to bloggers who always seem to be 100% put together or super edited. I hope you’re able to find a balance that works for you!

    9.11.17 · Reply
  26. Kahlie said:

    I love the pregnancy/ new mom stuff as I am pregnant myself. The baby outfits/gear reviews you love/ don’t love are so helpful. Also I think you are being way too hard on yourself.. most new moms would still be on maternity leave at this point! I think it’s a new normal for your content/ blog but a lot of times your readers are growing right along with you and transitioning into a new phase of life. Embrace it. Xo

    9.11.17 · Reply
  27. Jamie Dannelley said:

    Girl, don’t stress! As long as Amalia thinks you’re doing a great job then you’re fine! She is the only opinion you need to worry about. As long as baby girl is happy and healthy, that’s the priority. Give yourself time, you’re a first time mom and you’ll figure it out with time. It won’t happen overnight. As far as fall outfits, buy things in the size you fit into right now or keep wearing maternity if you need to. Nobody can tell if your jeans are maternity or a size up from what you normally wear. If you get back into your pre-baby jeans at some point, that’s awesome, if not then just rock that slightly bigger size. Your body has been through a lot, let it breathe a little in clothes that fit, not clothes that should fit. Lastly, look in your area for Fit4mom, it’s a Mom and baby workout group with amazing support. We joined when baby was 4 months old and it was life changing!

    9.11.17 · Reply
  28. leah cillo said:

    You are doing an amazing job! I am due in three weeks now and I have been thinking how the heck do you look so put together already?!? The last few weeks of pregnancy are so hard and I can barely shower and get ready for work and can’t imagine the first few weeks after he arrives. I know there is so much pressure but try to be easier on yourself because it can’t be easy to have a newborn and feel like you have to be completely put together and do outfit posts! You also look absolutely amazing! I can only hope to fit into anything after the baby is born! I have heard so many new moms have to continue to wear maternity clothes for quite a while because nothing fits! I love the real life and motherhood posts! I truly think you’re doing an amazing job and we all need to be supportive and not put so much pressure on each other. No matter how grateful I am to be pregnant you can’t help but just feel miserable sometimes. I don’t think people ever talk about how hard it is and your posts have made me feel so much better about being grateful to be pregnant but also not feel bad when you just need to complain about being naseuous and so uncomfortable you can’t move for weeks! I think it’s truly something you can’t comprehend until you’re in it.

    9.11.17 · Reply
  29. Kassi Wilkey said:

    I love how real you are! Posts like this (from the heart, raw, and true) are my favorite because it reminds me that other women feel the same way I do sometimes. I love your casual outfit posts and new mommy posts and I’m not a mother myself yet. Don’t let comparison steal your joy in this sweet season of life.

    9.11.17 · Reply
  30. Carolyn said:

    First– I love your content and always come back because you are super relatable, and truly helpful. I still go back to your posts on anxiety when I’m having tough episodes and it really does help just to know someone else goes through the same struggles. I am not a mom so can’t relate there– I think the tough thing is having friends that are becoming moms but being far from that myself (unfortunately) that does make me less interested in a high volume of mom content. But I really love your fashion and wellness posts– and grocery hauls! ๐Ÿ™‚ but social media can be really brutal– no one has it all together and you’re doing great!

    9.11.17 · Reply
  31. Katie Brownfield said:

    You’re a real person and that’s what I love seeing! I love posts on your sweet baby and motherhood, healthy living and honest posts like these. Thanks for being yourself and not curating your content to fit a mold. I hope you put your daughter first and content second- we can wait! ๐Ÿ™‚

    9.11.17 · Reply
  32. Crystal Watts said:

    Your pictures are beautiful! I have a four month old, and he is my first. I had no clue of how much work motherhood would be. Most mommy bloggers make it seem so easy and post beautiful pictures, so I thought I would be so good at it, too. Boy was I wrong! No one can prepare you for the changes of having a baby. Breastfeeding is strenuous, the sleep deprivation, and the body image issues are so real. There is so much pressure to be perfect when,if we are honest with ourselves, none of us are. I applaud you for showing your true self, and I think that’s what makes people respect and appreciate your words. I’m embracing my new normal, and I think that’s what motherhood is all about.

    9.11.17 · Reply
  33. Elizabeth said:

    I think when you write from the heart, like you did today, people relate and appreciate it. I just love your blog, all of it, from posts like this to recipes, fashion, decorating and motherhood. I am a mom, and even though my kids are older than yours, I enjoy reading your motherhood posts because it makes me nostalgic for the days when my kids were babies and triggers some memories for me.

    I enjoy reading blogs to see all the beautiful inspiration pictures, but I also love feeling connected to the writer and seeing how other people live, the things they face and how they handle them, the real life stuff. Reading blogs has made me realize how universal the human experience is. I hope you will continue sharing all the aspects of your life.

    Continue to write from the heart and people will respond to that. A quote that I love is – there is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one. You are doing great!

    9.11.17 · Reply
  34. Fran Acciardo said:

    Hey Julia!! I love your blog because you are one blogger that never ever fails to make every post 110% genuine. I love that you are willing to sacrifice pleasing the crowd to deliver a blog post from the heart. In the end, I think that pleases readers more than you’d think… after all, how many bloggers out there are just doing the same thing as each other? That is, presenting their Pinterest-perfect lives. It’s so unrelatable!!

    I would love to see more content on how you make healthy recipes and eat healthfully now that you are so busy. I am a college student and sometimes get too tired or lazy to cook, so I’d love to know what your tricks are and what’s on your grocery list.

    xoxo, Fran
    franacciardo.com

    9.11.17 · Reply
  35. BRN said:

    You’re doing a lovely job during these bleary newborn weeks! Keep it up- we are rooting for you!

    9.12.17 · Reply
  36. Alyssa Loring said:

    I fear the same pressure of perfection, especially as a first time mom (my due date is in 10 days…eek!) but I think it’s important to step back and stop comparing yourself to others. What people put on the internet isn’t always the reality, and honestly I would have thought you had it all together from every post prior to this one! I appreciate you being real and talking about the pressures, but don’t be so hard on yourself!

    xo
    Alyssa
    http://feathersandstripes.com

    9.12.17 · Reply
  37. Abby Walker said:

    I’ve read your blog for years and have always loved the content, regardless of whatever life phase you’re documenting. As a mom of a 2.5 year old, your recent journey into motherhood was a great reminder for me of all of the wonderful, scary, exciting, new parts of the process of becoming a first-time mom, so I’ve truly enjoyed the “Motherhood” posts… especially now that my son is in the thick of the terrible two’s, reminders of his infant years are a welcome vacation:) We all strive for perfection, but just remember that’s not attainable for ANYONE. Let yourself adjust, get used to a new body shape (Spoiler: some things just won’t ever be the same, and it varies from person to person; mine was my hips/thighs), don’t feel guilty about hormonal crying moments, and find your new normal. Motherhood isn’t a race; it’s a journey. Enjoy the up’s and down’s, and remember the hard moments don’t last forever. You’re doing great!

    9.12.17 · Reply
  38. Stacey said:

    I do feel like there is a lot of pressure to feel like you have to be perfect especially if you are a blogger. The one thing that I have to remind myself is that my journey and my life is different than everyone else’s. I shouldn’t want to look like those other bloggers because I am creating my own brand that is representing me. From what I can see you are doing great. Keep doing what you are doing and being true to yourself.

    xoxo
    Stacey
    @stylingsofstacey | http://staceylyynn.wixsite.com/stylingsofstacey

    9.12.17 · Reply
  39. Katrin B said:

    I think the contents will just be coming to you.. Right now, Amalia is tiny, but once she gets older, there will be sooo much going on. For me, there were so many questions I had and interesting contents to be found online and experiences i shared with other moms with every new chapter in our daughter’s life (babyswimming, hikes with the strollers, daycare, other mothers, school…). Just write about whatever is on your mind. I am sure it will be a mix of emotional experiences, lifestyle and fun stuff…

    9.12.17 · Reply
  40. Jaimie Miller said:

    I would love to see more content on personal wellness and some self love tips! I feel like you do such a great job recommending different techniques for dealing with personal issues like anxiety, stress, etc. Would love to see more of that and any products you use around the house and on yourself (skincare, beauty, etc.) that keep you sane or just for some self pampering ๐Ÿ™‚ Keep up the good mama work!

    9.13.17 · Reply
  41. Nicole Francey said:

    I always love to hear your ideas about wellness!

    In regards to the idea of perfection and comparing, it reminded me of one of my favorite blog posts from a very different style blog. The post is entitled “Behold, the Power of Cropping.”

    http://lusaorganics.typepad.com/clean/2013/08/behold-the-power-of-cropping-the-no-swear-words-version.html

    9.14.17 · Reply
  42. Nancy Loses It said:

    I also have a newborn and enjoy reading your entries about that.

    9.14.17 · Reply
  43. Lauren Lechner said:

    I appreciate your blog and Instagram posts for what they are! Reality isn’t perfect, and it’s brave of you to express that. Although I am not a mother, I enjoy your motherhood posts along with ones on healthy recipes, fashion, and life as a fellow Connecticut resident.

    9.15.17 · Reply
  44. Meagan said:

    Late to comment – but I appreciate your realness, both in this post and just in your social media presence! In the past year I have unfollowed pretty much everyone who is leading that picture perfect life and wearing high end designer clothes in their big walk in closets, it’s not relatable, and frankly makes me feel a little down on myself for not having/doing it all! I’m not a mom, and I have a hard enough time juggling my work, husband and friends, let alone keeping my house clean and looking cute all the time. The bloggers who always look perfectly made up and travel to exotic locations are great for when I’m planning a trip or looking for inspiration for a special event, but in my every day feed I need more realness, and that’s the main reason I follow you! Keep doing what you are doing and what feels right – and share the struggle, it makes you even more relatable and makes the rest of us feel a little sane, since you do appear to have it all together!

    9.15.17 · Reply
  45. Holly said:

    You are a sweet soul and are my favorite blog by far! Although I am 46 and do not have children, I enjoy reading your posts about motherhood and feel that I have learned from you! I would prefer a healthy mix of motherhood and other but want you to stay true to yourself and follow your intuition. If you do that, you will continue to create a beautiful blog with wonderful content for us all! Allow yourself some grace!!!

    9.16.17 · Reply